Vampires

You walked into your favourite restaurant, towards your favourite seat, slouching easily into the velvet couch. The waiter came and you ordered your favourite steak.

Everything is exactly what you wanted. You needed this predictability to preserve your sanity. You wondered why she wanted your blood. What about all the secrets you both shared? What about the meals taken together? What about the shared dreams? What about the ‘us’ you and her often used in conversations?

What about the girl you used to like as a kid but never dared talk to. You look at her on the bus. You turned around and looked at her whenever she passed by. You dreamt of her at night. You listened carefully to stories about her. And then, you thought you know her. Later, you grew up and realised you never really knew her. And yesterday, you grew up again when you realised you never really knew her also.

You imagined what she is really like. Did she use the same refined vocabulary when conversing with other people? Did she ever practised what she preached? How did she carry herself other people? You paused for moment as you recall her words. Did she really said all that? Or have you put words into her mouth? Have you just conveniently completed her with your figments of imagination so that she is the way you wanted her to be?

When did it start? When did it all go wrong? At the beginning? Or maybe you have done something wrong? Could you have stood in her way? Could you have touched a raw nerve? Could you have not heard her immense hatred for you? You reckoned you would never know. But there’s something you would know. It was you who wanted her blood at the beginning. The clever schemes you plotted in order to get closer to her were more than successful.

You remembered a friend telling you that one can never really understand what another person is thinking. You screamed ‘telepathy’ and spewed out many abstract words like ‘love’, ‘faith’ and ‘eternity’. You grew up for the second time yesterday when you started to wonder for what good purposes were these words invented for. That same friend added that it is however reassuring to know that in the same way, other people will never really know what you are thinking. You called your friend a soulless creature under your breath.
He is right. He never really knows that you actually called him that.

You remembered the eyes that smiled. Are they even capable of evil? Who would think they were thirsting for your blood? It shattered your world. Aren’t good and beauty supposed to come together? What’s what anymore? You lose the ability to judge. You looked around the restaurant. You imagined the nearby boy stabbing a puppy furiously. You thought you saw the pretty girl sitting at the corner spitting onto the floor. You imagined every single living thing in the world as a can of worms. Some have been opened by you, the rest are just waiting to be opened by you. You lose faith.

You remembered something your friend told you. He said, “Instead of looking at people, discovering their dirty deeds and then losing faith, why don’t you conduct yourself in a manner that gives other people faith?” You told him frankly he is too nice and idealistic. You thought he must be having some problems also. Only depressed people are nice. Normal people are too proud and arrogant to be nice. You told him that you are nothing more than another can of worms.

You changed your mind about drinking her blood when you discovered that she’s nice.
You have changed. So has she. You haven’t detected any signs at all. You imagined someone who suddenly became sinister would age overnight. But then, you have even thought that if she suddenly aged overnight but remains pure at heart, you would still not take her blood.

You remembered something your friend told you. And you’ve always thought of him as kind of shallow but you decided that he would never know that as a fact. He said, “Always judge a book not just by its cover, but also for its cover; at least you would know when it has, like all the things the world, changed. Judge it by its contents, for its content and you won’t realize it in time when it has changed.” Only then you can be safe.

The steak finally came. Bloodied the way you like it to be. The meat is tender. You cut a small piece and put it into your mouth. You imagine it’s her flesh you are eating and you smile.