Triple J: story of jolin, jay and jinx

couldn't help but feel that the jolin tsai and jay chou saga parallels my little 'hiccup' in love.

and of course, i would naturally sympathise with jolin. was there a tear in jolin's eyes during news conference? speculation or keen observation?

so how do i see this whole thing?

jolin thought she was in love. she was busy, so was jay. she thought he would be there for her. maybe she wasn't too receptive towards jay but then she was pretty satisfied with what's gg on between the both of them.

she wasn't making things happen...but she didn't stop things from happening anyway. when she is upset or tired, it gives her a bit of consolation to think that there is someone for her, maybe thinking of her when he's tired or upset too. although she never confirmed his feelings, but she felt it in his body language and gesture. she thought that his awkwardness when she was around was a kind of a quiet affirmation of their feelings towards each other. she thought he was too shy to look at her in her eyes. she thought he didn't want too much media attention because it might strain their budding romance.

in short, she was happy with the arrangement. it gives her strength when she needed it and didn't require too much committment and expectations on her part. I bet she thinks 'it will blossom but not now, cos i have to concentrate on my work'

But alas, she is so wrong. her dream comes to an end. suddenly, her source of strength becomes a deep cut in her heart. and there she was bleeding. but she didn't want to appear weak. she had overcame her early career crisis. she believes she is stronger, or rather, she wants pple to believe she is strong. She puts up a brave front. She denies that there has been anything between them. As she said that, she probably start to convince herself that it true; there really isn't anything between them.

Now it all makes sense, she told herself. he was awkward cos he was being mistaken. he didn't look at her in her eyes because he didn't want her to get the wrong impression.

She didn't want to think jay has betrayed her because, really, on hindsight, she really believes that it's was all just wishful thinking on her part. only by thinking that way, can she reconcile with the harsh reality. only then can she have a hopefully clean closure to this unhappy episode. maybe you can say that she dun have too much of a choice. to make a big fuss over it will only make pple think that she's immature and unstable, justifying jay's change of heart.

so maybe she asked herself, what was jay really thinking? but then she decides that it was pointless to think about it now. it's more important to get on with life. it's time to 'wake up' from the sweet dream turned nightmare. whether or jay had anything for her doesn't mean a damn thing anymore because, he is happily attached now and nothing will change that.

maybe she wasn't crying, the journalists were too sensitive. but i'm sure she was bleeding in her heart. and that bleedingl; journalists cannot see or take pictures. That, you can only see when your heart is bleeding too. i know, trust me.

i hope she triumphs over this. i leave you with her song. it's kinda sad but it's life.

你还爱我吗
夜里传来雨的声音 轻轻拨动心的旋律
情不自禁想到你 那些甜蜜的回忆
总是不小心就淋湿了我的眼睛
爱情需要一些呼吸 偶尔保持一点距离
回到朋友的关系 任你自由的来去
从此想念你只能放在我心里
你还爱我吗 一直好想问你这句话
却又怕 听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗 为何你总是不说话
眼看我为爱不爱挣扎
你爱我吗 好久没有你的消息
心里还惦记着你
在这冷冷的夜里 感觉那么的熟悉
好想再见你想听听你的声音
敢情的路总让人好无助 我会学着面对独处
给深爱的你祝福
你还爱我吗 一直好想问你这句话却又怕
听到你真实的回答
你还爱我吗 这是我唯一的牵挂
不管你会有什么回答我会一直等你
你还爱我吗