Darren's End-of-season EPL Gifts

To Chelsea, I give what money cannot buy- the love and support of neutral fans.

To Arsenal, I give a book of nursery rhymes because they got so many kids popping into the team everytime.

To Man Utd, I give a shaving kit because the players don't seem to have one.

To Everton, I give them a four leaf clover for good luck next season because they have used up all of their luck for the next 4 years in this season.

To Liverpool, I give a first aid kit and medical benefits.

To Bolton, I give them a VCD collection of all their matches so the players and coaches can watch them and just die of boredom.

To Newcastle, I give them a free anger management course (and a new manager).

That's all folks.. Stay tuned. I might buy more gifts if I think any more teams deserve them.