Sink Or Swim
Damn it... really damn it.. failed my TP for the 3rd time. What a dreadful start to my 'critical' wk. Actually hopping tat todae will mark the turning pt of my rather uninspiring sem. Then lazy tutor said he is busy in the afternoon n cant be bothered to see me. Hey fuck u man! Wat official consultation day is Friday. Having damn problems doing the FIRST tutorial n u r telling me this shit.
...... Basically there is steam coming out from my head. Im really damn pissed at myself. When u constantly failed to reach ur expectation i cant help but questoin everything ard me. Wat is God doing up there? Is He testing me... putting my character to test n see how i react? How can He do this to me after all my waiting n hardwork? Are those damn testers conspiring against me? How come all the mistakes r always the same? Even the demerit points r quite identical. Wat m i doing? Am i tat lousy? I wan to put on a brave front but is constantly get knocked down by unfrenly circumstances.
OKOK.... i will not tok abt this anymore or it will affect my mood. Still got an impt comp this Sun. Now im even more pressurised to do well in it. Dun like to be labelled as a failure leh. Then got so much tutorials waiting for me too.... hope im not heading for burn out. Right now finding solace in Linkin Park. Cant be bothered tat even those ah gong ah ma at the void deck can hear their songs. Really cant be bothered.
Wat now? Im standing here... wif defeat starring at my face. Part of me felt like giving everything up n juz go to sleep. Why give myself so much problems wif TP, TKD, BGR, sch work? Why cant i juz go n be a road sweeper? Everyday sweeping the rd by myself.. But part of me vow to God tat i will nv give up. Have to prove to myself tat i can do it. Still believe tat there is a God upstairs looking after me. Stay focused.. be positive. Take a deep breathe.... think.... decide....
OK. Mind is made up. I will cont to fight on. Even the whole world is against me i will still fight on. Tat's me. Tat's my character. Amen.
...... Basically there is steam coming out from my head. Im really damn pissed at myself. When u constantly failed to reach ur expectation i cant help but questoin everything ard me. Wat is God doing up there? Is He testing me... putting my character to test n see how i react? How can He do this to me after all my waiting n hardwork? Are those damn testers conspiring against me? How come all the mistakes r always the same? Even the demerit points r quite identical. Wat m i doing? Am i tat lousy? I wan to put on a brave front but is constantly get knocked down by unfrenly circumstances.
OKOK.... i will not tok abt this anymore or it will affect my mood. Still got an impt comp this Sun. Now im even more pressurised to do well in it. Dun like to be labelled as a failure leh. Then got so much tutorials waiting for me too.... hope im not heading for burn out. Right now finding solace in Linkin Park. Cant be bothered tat even those ah gong ah ma at the void deck can hear their songs. Really cant be bothered.
Wat now? Im standing here... wif defeat starring at my face. Part of me felt like giving everything up n juz go to sleep. Why give myself so much problems wif TP, TKD, BGR, sch work? Why cant i juz go n be a road sweeper? Everyday sweeping the rd by myself.. But part of me vow to God tat i will nv give up. Have to prove to myself tat i can do it. Still believe tat there is a God upstairs looking after me. Stay focused.. be positive. Take a deep breathe.... think.... decide....
OK. Mind is made up. I will cont to fight on. Even the whole world is against me i will still fight on. Tat's me. Tat's my character. Amen.
posted by darren at
3:06 pm
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