The World and me 2

... so my little misfortune or adventure continued. After quite some time i finally manged to make it acros to the living room. It was here that i made my first few friends , ant-friends. I met Bruce and Tony. They were best of friends but their characters differ of great magnitude. Bruce is the nosier of the two in fact he is just plain noisy whereas Tony is those quiet or passive type. However, their working abilities are just the direct opposite of wat they seems. Bruce can only make noise n noise only cant really work but Tony had the skills n knowledge. But the sterotype always favour the one who can make noise, not even talk just have to make noise. Maybe it deliver a false image of confidence. Maybe.
As they were also finding food so i decided to tag along as i was new to this 'community'. So we made our way to the kitchen while Bruce make his noise while Tony led. Finally we arrived at our destination and the sight of food salivate us. But tt didnt stop Bruce from makin more noise,'Hey i think we should go this way and get to the bread then......or shall we go for the other side and ......c'mon guys we have to decide ........."
Admist this one sided conversation Tony was carefully assessing the situation and planning out the shortest and safest route. In the end we followed Bruce plan just becos he said,' Lets follow me ' louder and first.
As we were halfway through suddenly we saw feet, human feet coming our way. Hey that belong to my Bro. They were travelling fast and toward us! Tony anticipated this, as we were crossing right across the kitchen floor n not along the sides which deem to be safer. As we all stayed dumb shock at this impeding disaster Tony shoved us aside as hard as he could and
SQUASH !!!!
It only lasted one second, we were safe but Tony was flat. Bruce of course was sad but wasnt really able to look at the big picture as he didnt really figure out that his best friend death had something to do with him. He wept but soon the hunger had the better of him and he spoke again,'come lets go it isnt safe here, i knew it c'mon move it...'
Taking one last look at Tony i realised tt there is no such thing as fair n life n it just seems to favour the noise maker more.
Finally we had our food n i m typing this account down with my mini lap top in memory of one of my new friend- Tony RIP.

Defeat Taste So Sour

The score reads 4-2. Shit... im trailing by 2 pts!! The start of 3rd rd is very slow. Must match his speed... he is damn fast. I can do it one.. He gave a fake n i tried to charge in wif a slamming kick. Missed!! Follow up wif a turning kick.. wham!!!! Scores man!! Yes yes yes! Tat's the way! Control the game.... steady.. He changed strategy n always charge in to grab me, not letting me have a chance to execute my kick. WTF.... have to think of a counter to stop him.....

In the end i lost the match 5-4. My frens n seniors said i had a good fight... but i noe i can do better. One more gane to bronze... next year? Todae is an exciting day for me leh.. while doing warmups she sms me to cheer me on. WOHOO!!! Then a lot of my frens came to cheer me on. Thks man!!

Wah lau.... really have to take my hat off Mr Benchmark. He is damn good man. First he swept aside the hot fav of the category by winning 4-2. The Finals was even more amazing. This guy... who is also quite good... charge at him. Mr Benchmark let him eat his slamming kick. He charge again.. got slammed in the head again... charged again.. got slammed in the head again!!! Im really amazed by his determination... n im even more amazed at how fast Mr Benchmark did his slamming kicks. The whole stadium had turned wild man. This poor guy made his LAST ATTEMPT n was at the recieving end of Mr Benchmark's jumping backthrust. He collapsed n nv get up. Only one word to describe... "shuai". Haii... my mentor had got gold... Mr Benchmark had got is gold too... somemore is his first National medal in 5 yrs. Im still lagging behind. They had set the pace... now is up to me to ctach up. Next time i will get gold... n i will train hard.

Hmmm... really quite sad tat i din get to go hm wif her cos she had to leave early. But anyway she had came down... n treat me wif a can of milo... guess i shd be stisfied right? Cant expect much cos she is attached... haha.. ok anyway.. thanks everybody for ur support! Hope next time wont disappoint u pple again.

Lazy Doggy Is An Unidentified Underdog

Haha... kind of like this statement. Doing some last min training on Fri.. feeling fine. Then i saw this "unidentified underdog" on the whiteboard... hey referring to me? This is the first time im joining the com. Feeling abit scared actually. Lazy? Cos i feel tat im a lazy piece of shit (though some others said im very hardworking). Doggy? Cos i liked dogs. Esp German Shepherds cos of their bravery. Ya... Sunday will be my big day. Mr Benchmark said i got chance... then i will believe him. Ok.. time for some mental training again..

The World and me

I woke up today to a breath-seizing shock. i had become an ant. I thought i was dreamin, stil admist my nightmare but no as i try to get down the bed, i knew it was no joke. I remember my bed was only a meter plus high but now it is like a twenty storey building. i tried to scream but holy s**t no sound of a human , but only the whimper of a desperate ant. i remember myself sitting on tt once familiar bed for a very long time thinking of a lot of things: my family, my mum my dad my brother. There was so much things tt i wanted to tell them but wasnt able to muster enuf courage to tell them. I had always wanted to gave my mum a tight hug but now no longer am i able to do that. how many times i had wish to play a game of soccer or basketball with my dad and brother or anything be it just a run, but that simple previledge that had been taken for granted for far too long had been seized too. i had wanted to tell all my friends how much i treasure our friendship though i may not shown it explicitly but now will they stomp on me if they see me. I think i m the first ant that cry as all these thoughts brought heart-breaking pain to me. But suddenly my stomach rumble n i knew that it is time for err.. breakfast. So i began my slow descent down my bedsheet onto the floor. Oh the floor felt cold but nevertheless i made my way towards the door. And for the first time i got out without having to open the door , felt so weird. Everythings look so differrent but i still know my way to the kitchen. On my way der i found a mini laptop n decided to write down my account down before i am being step on and who know when that will be but at least someone could now tell my family what actually happened to me after i m gone....

The Sun Shines Forever

My heart is pounding wildly. Feeling confused... lost? The scenery at the rooftop is fantastic, but i have no mood to enjoy. Something is going to happen.

There he is. He walking towards my direction but din see me. Haha.. he is scared. Have to gatch him off guard, i tot. I walked up behind him n pull out my pistol. If he is surprise, he din show it. I took his handcuff n cuffed him. He semed easy n tried to chat me up. Wan to put me off guard? No chance i tot. "Where is the stuff tat i want?" I asked him straight to the point. He din bring. He gave me the sorry look. "Please give me a chance..." he said. I looked at him. "Sorry, im a policeman." "Who noes?" came the reply. Im angered by tat ans. He got a point... but im really desperate this time. I took my pistol n aimed at his head... shd i shoot him? Mind is in a mess... i want my identity back!!

Change Of Mind

Hmm... it's amazing how fast one's changes his mind. One time im upset abt failing my TP... the next i told myself no big deal. Once i said i dun wan to live in hall... next i busy asking ard for vacancies. Wah... im so amazed man.

Yah i had accepted the fact that i failed my TP. But i wont give up cos i love to ride. Whenever someone's else bike drove past me i cant help but think where is my bike. Ok.. next time will do better. I mean i will pass! Yeah positive thinking is needed in case i slumped into depression.

Remembered wat BY said abt the jinx of revealing too much to other pple abt the gal u like. Hey i think make a bit of senses leh. Unless confirmed.. this kind better keep it under wrap. Reveal abit here n there shd be no problem la. But there shd be a out-of-bound thing.

Feeling lazy this afternoon. O no how how how? I will think abt it later. Anyway the movie Bourne Supremacy seemed watchable. Can consider tat. Ya.. changed my mind on AVP liao.. ratings so poor. Hey humans r so fickle minded.........

Let's Move On

Haiii..... wan to write something happy here. Think think think.... OMG nothing!

Sch work? Nay... tomolo going bk to sch to see wat i can savage. Wah kao.. actually dun feel like meeting Cai for lunch cos he like very 'shuay' like tat. Can ride bike till the chain came off. Tat's the first time i heard of it. Scared tat i eat halfway the canteen ceiling crash down on me. Ok... something happy..... thinking bk last Sat is one of the happiest day in this sem. Cos she came down to watch the Nationals n we go hm together. Hahaha.. yeah.. felt comfortable toking to her. Will she come for my match? No no no... wat if i screwed everything up juz like my TP like get KO or something.. better not. Hey she got said tat i lack a bit of self confidence. Hmmm... i told many pple tat we have to be confident of ourselves but im not doing it myself. So tat makes me a hypocrite? SHIT! I hate hypocrites.

Okok... relak.. tomolo will be a better day. I will do my best regardless of whether anybody coming down to watch. Cheers.

Sink Or Swim

Damn it... really damn it.. failed my TP for the 3rd time. What a dreadful start to my 'critical' wk. Actually hopping tat todae will mark the turning pt of my rather uninspiring sem. Then lazy tutor said he is busy in the afternoon n cant be bothered to see me. Hey fuck u man! Wat official consultation day is Friday. Having damn problems doing the FIRST tutorial n u r telling me this shit.

...... Basically there is steam coming out from my head. Im really damn pissed at myself. When u constantly failed to reach ur expectation i cant help but questoin everything ard me. Wat is God doing up there? Is He testing me... putting my character to test n see how i react? How can He do this to me after all my waiting n hardwork? Are those damn testers conspiring against me? How come all the mistakes r always the same? Even the demerit points r quite identical. Wat m i doing? Am i tat lousy? I wan to put on a brave front but is constantly get knocked down by unfrenly circumstances.

OKOK.... i will not tok abt this anymore or it will affect my mood. Still got an impt comp this Sun. Now im even more pressurised to do well in it. Dun like to be labelled as a failure leh. Then got so much tutorials waiting for me too.... hope im not heading for burn out. Right now finding solace in Linkin Park. Cant be bothered tat even those ah gong ah ma at the void deck can hear their songs. Really cant be bothered.

Wat now? Im standing here... wif defeat starring at my face. Part of me felt like giving everything up n juz go to sleep. Why give myself so much problems wif TP, TKD, BGR, sch work? Why cant i juz go n be a road sweeper? Everyday sweeping the rd by myself.. But part of me vow to God tat i will nv give up. Have to prove to myself tat i can do it. Still believe tat there is a God upstairs looking after me. Stay focused.. be positive. Take a deep breathe.... think.... decide....

OK. Mind is made up. I will cont to fight on. Even the whole world is against me i will still fight on. Tat's me. Tat's my character. Amen.

A Good Life

Hey this blog is abt a good life right? The fantasy of a good life... happy.. relax.. carefree.. cool man. Worries? Everybody have. But in a good life.. worries will turn into opportunites.. challenges... or are juz chucked into the rubbish chute.

We have our dreams.. our fantasies... n when we r tired or bored.. we will enter into our own world n be shut off wif the outsidde world. I did tat a lot of times too. It did wonders sometimes. Hmmm..... ya.... ok...... cheers to A- Good- Life!!!

Gloomy dayz ahead

Many of my frens looked lifeless... shag...troubled.. is it bcos of the bird flu in Malaysia? I liked to eat chicken rice.. think now have to control abit.

Cai's face looked like he has stepped on some shit. One look can tell he got some worries.. or alot of worries. He cant even finished his plate of rice during lunch man. The sky's very dark when i went bk to the library. Luckily there is a vacant seat at the 'prime site' (cubicle beside the window.. overlooking the bus stop). I juz sit there n watch pple boarding n alighting the bus for half an hr. Suddenly there is a flash of lightning followed by loud thunder. The sky seemed like split into two. Chariots with menacing looking riders appeared out of nowhere. They flew to the bus stop, screaming war cries as they drew their swords and armed their bows wif arrows. Pple r screaming n running for cover but the chariots caught up wif them n slashed them into wif a swing of their sword. One poor guy had 11 arrows struck to his head.. but he is still alive n running ard.. screaming for help. The whole bus stop is full of chaos. Some went to hide inside the bus. But then a giant fist... bigger than the Titanic.. emerged from the dark clouds. The hand grabbed the bus n crushed it like peanuts. Everybody is feeling helpless... think they cant escape n will die for sure... doom is everywhere...

After training i went to ask her whether she will go n watch me fight the Nationals. Ok ok.. i only asked her whether will she go n watch the Nationals. Balls shrink at the last moment. She said yes... but im fighting on the last day so i dunno whether will she go everyday or only on the first day. Shit....

My Fantasy

Todae when of my balless fren said tat i shd write my fantasies here...

My feet is cold when i stepped into the arena. I stared at him... scrutinised his every movement. We are juz like 2 hot- blooded bull ready to charge each other down. I can sense tat he is impatient.. Suddenly the whole place is quiet. He charged at me like a man- on- a- mission. No choice but to siam. He had siezed the initiative. So fast, so strong, i tot. Then im down on the ground. My face is burning wif stinging pain. WTF man. Got kicked on the face. Tot i saw a smile on his face as he fly towards me again.. hey man he seemed to enjoy it. ..3.......... stay focused...... 2........ be positive..... 1... u can do it! As i side step to the left everything is happening like a matrix- liked slow motion. I can see his every movement. I planted a turning kick onto his rib.. followed by a double to his stomach and ended wif a slamming lick on his face. 1....... 2....... 3...... 4...... the whole stadium wildly erupted into cheers. I had KO my oppponent! "Champion! Champion! Champion!..." the crowd is celebrating wif me! I grabbed the National Flag and did a lap- of- honour. YES I M THE CHAMPION!!!.............

Juz Another Day...

Strange man... this blog is not set up by me. It's a so called combined effort by my yahoo grp pals so tat those in the grp can come in and write anything. Haha.. think im going to snatch this as my own liao... 75% of them r my entries..

Today juz another day in NTU man... hibernating in library.. get out from my cubicle only when i wan to steal some food from the canteen or trying to flood the toilet. Maybe someone can take a knife n stab me pls...

Guess wat? Todae im taking training. Got this weird feeling when im in the library liao. Long prepared for it. But wat im not prepared is tat those newbies r always taking their own sweet time to follow my instructions.. maybe they r shy? I showed them my displeasure by shouting at them.. haha maybe they wont come for the next training liao. Whatever man.. when im serious they better follow. U muz have the passion to excel when u join TKD.. or u wont make it big in the sport. Well my ambition is.... secret man. Yup.. i will take note of the mistakes i made during this training n make a pt not to repeat them again. Hope the rest of the club will cont to support me.

Saw the bout list. Im fighting in Day 4! Wah lau.. tat is so long from now. Tot i can chop chop finish the com. Fighting against a guy from Aljunied CC. Hope those pple from CC dun train as hard as us so tat i stand a chance to progress to next stage. But u noe... strange things do happen.

For my studies... jia you! To those who r struggling... jia you also! To XXX.. thks for telling me u like my training style!

1 + 1 = 2?

Went bk to sch after bike lesson. Saw a fren. "Hey u got lesson todae meh?" "No la.. come to look for tutor." "Wah u so hardworking ah?" Hmmm...... hardworking? Last sem i think im quite hardworking also.. but in the end still fail 2 modules. Wat abt now? Once working for my father, my cousin, who is also one of my father's worker joke to me. "Oei.. no pt working so hard.. look at those blangedash workers... they r also working veri hard but earn so little.. muz be smart u noe.." I remember i laugh for a veri long time. There r lots of time where things turn out differently.. "Hey u r quite a nice guy n not bad looking too... why no gf?" This one is better.. "U r a nice guy. Im sure u can find a better gf than me.." Cut the crap man... i really dunno how to ans those qns..
In theory... 1 + 1 = 2. But is it really so in reality? I do this n i expect tat.. juz like 1 + 1 shd be = 2 right? But hey.. no. Strange isn't it? Therefore i have come to terms wif it liao. I dun really expect the results.. i do my best n pray to God tat he will do the rest. I try to enjoy the process more.. maybe like tat i can feel better? To all those pple who had fail n have some sort of phobia... i say get up n walk again.. wif ur heads up. Life has to continue. O yeah... n to those gals out there... i have to say im really a nice guy too.. bullshit.

A Little Edgy

Aggravate my toe injury during TKD training todae.. damn it.. did some damage control by icing my toe. 6 more days to go. Feeling abit restless... lerthagic? Edgy? or SCARED?? I have to admit i still have a long way to go to become champion.. but my trainer has been veri encouraging to me. She is a National fighter man.. n i have no problem being trained by a lady. Shit... she is a gd fighter. Too bad i din get to noe her sooner... but better be late then nv right? I will cont to worktowards my goal.. but in the meantime the Nationals r already running in my mind. How will i fare? GRRRLLL... better keep these silly tots off my mind.
Looking bk.. think i had done quite a good job preparing for it la... ok.. could have done better. Shit man. This is my first tournament. 22 yrs old but first tournament!! Ok.. better be late than nv right? A good exp for nxt yr IVP. Wan to excel.. wan to win.. who wouldn't? Maybe some of my frens la... dun wan to point fingers scared they come chasing after me.. Hmmm... my TKD frens have been gd to me.. i have good instructors.. have a bunch of balless but fantastic frens.. last but not least.. i believe i have the heart to achieve my goals.. good... i will look towards the future man. Hope she will come n watch me fight.... though i noe the chances r slim.. Let the countdown begins!!!!!

Moving Home

Moving home, yes! I find myself in the terrible situation of having to change my blog address. I could tell that there were too many people whom I didn't want reading my blog reading my blog. The last straw was when this total stranger of a fat girl approached a tired and drained me after a lecture last Friday, smiled a very meek smile and asked "Hey, hi XXXXX (I shall not reveal my name here for security reasons), I've been reading your blog!" and then ran away giggling. I was stunned because now she probably knows where I stay, where I like to hang out, what I like to eat, etc. etc., i.e. things that strangers should not be knowing about me. Well, no more haha. She can check back on my old blog for all she wants. Hopefully she'll never find me again. She could be some crazy online stalker for all I know. These things are very inconvenient. Well I've only told 23 of my friends about my new blog, and I'll be watching the blog views counter very very closely. If the page view count exceeds a total of 23 in a day, then I can conclude that there must be strangers reading this again. That would also mean that one of my 23 friends, all sworn to secrecy, has betrayed me!

Soccer! Today i scored not 1, 2, or 3 but FOUR wonder goals. Dribbled past countless posses of defenders, and smashed them all in off the post. The two strikers in my team looked worried. I mean the two of them are pretty deadly when it comes to tap-ins, but they can't dribble for nuts. I'm sure I can do a better job than them. But Coach wants me to play as a left-back still, and even though I'm a right footer. Where's the sense in that?? How many did the two of them score? Nothing. I know Roberto Carlos is a star in his own right, but I would very much rather be able to emulate my idol, the one and only Darren Huckerby. If I'm playing as left-back again next week, I'll speak up to Coach. I have to do what is best for the team, after all.

Well thinking about it makes me quite mad. Nothing so terrible as talent going around unrecognised. Oh well! I have more things to worry about anyway. For instance, there's school tomorrow. The worst thing is that Ahmed is sick. This means I'll have to go to school by myself! (Dad refused to hire a replacement for Ahmed.) This in turn means I'll have to take the bus and the train. No taxis because Dad wants me to 'see the world out there'. Yeah right. Wow. I hope public transport isn't unhygenic or anything. I've heard a lot about people coughing and sneezing there like it's nobody's business. No wonder Ahmed is sick haha, cos he takes public transport home. Alright enough rambling. Dad has sent Aminah to buy a bus/train guide for me, and wants me to memorise the buses I have to take tomorrow, and which train station to stop at. He'll be quizzing me after dinner. Better go get ready for it.