Boxes in Life

There are many boxes in life.
Naturally we think some are more important than others.
Particularly one.
Because we see almost everywhere on tv, in the papers, amongst our peers.
Everyday the message is drummed in us that this is the right thing to do, this is the right thing to do, this is the right thing to do... we must do this, only normal people do this...
They might as well make us recite this everyday instead of the pledge.

We think that once this particular box is filled, it will be the answer to our problems.
We think even that once this box is filled, it will kickstart our lives.
Life will suddenly become brighter, we will have a lot of energy, and all the other boxes that were empty will miraculously fill themselves.
Well that happens on Ch8 dramas but not in real life.

Filling the box. At most it will mask the problems that run deeper.
Other boxes remain unfilled. That is the actual cause of restlessness and unhappiness.
For the pursuit of one box, we ignore even more the others. Such that sometimes, we are becoming hollower as a person, losing that bit of a spark/sei we may once have had when we were not so crazy over that one box.

Sure, one day we will really think about filling the box.
But obsessing and calculating over it isn't really going to help anything at all.
This box is one of those irritating things that opens and presents a chance at the strangest times.
You can try to engineer opportunities, yes, but often at the expense of the other boxes.
So what is the winning solution?
Take a step back, and pay some attention to the other boxes in our lives.
They have been unnurtured and ignored in recent years.
In fact, create new boxes, new areas of interest in life.
Don't limit yourself because life is a lot richer than that.
Meantime, just keep an eye on that box. But don't put yourself in the situation where that one box is the first thing you think about when you wake up, the only thing you think about during the day, and the last thing you think about as you try to make yourself sleep at night. That is existence at its most pathetic.

The loneliest person is not the one who spends Christmas eves in his room alone surfing the internet.
The loneliest person is the one who has filled his one box, is out in Orchard Rd celebrating (or trying to celebrate, being a non-Christian) Christmas with his significant other and still feels lonely.

If it is inherent in your nature to feel lonely you will always feel lonely, even though right now you think certain things might solve your problems of loneliness.
The solution may lie more in learning how to be comfortable with yourself first.
We actually have to work for our own happiness, and not let a box make or break us.

Pls talk to me.....

Always cranking ur head for the pick uo line on msn. Be careful what u type on the first line as it may just determine how much u will be typing for that window. Here r some of the most common ones in decending order of its value.

Harlo- The confident n gentleman way.
Hi- The cheerful n informal way
Halo- The more slack but stil confident but not so formal way
Harlow- The trying to be pattern a bit way
Hey- The not so confident bu ttry to act confident way(esp when use together with "u der")
eh....- the way when u just want to convey a msg or want to get it over n done
U der?- The no confident way
YO!- the trying too hard way

that is all i can think of n may not be necessary true , for entertainment purposes only. If u know of any more pls contribute n help pple like m who only hav these pathetic few to use.
Cheers everyone sunny day ahead !!!! (",)

Softie Droppies = floopies

Finally i know wat is our problem, at least according to me n i want to write it down b4 i forget. Being too soft is a no-no definitely. Wat is being soft. it means u r always neutral to things, or rather indecisive, afraid to voice wat u r thinking n most imptly having too little self-confidence. Wat they like are guys with character or attitude at the extreme end, but it is definitely no gek seh,it is only a thin line in btw the two. Sometimes tryng to be too nice will also make u lose ur 'hardness'. It is alright to be nice but know how to control yourself. They like pple to show concern but not persistent reassuring of their wel-being. Show some confidence n character but give some space. Be sincere this is the very upmost impt , dun attach any agenda to whatever things u do , esp for them personally, it will only make u look hypocrite. Take bold n sincere steps towards them but at a steady pace n u will hopefully not be dropped, again.

The Life Of A Court Jester

There is this post in the past right? Where there is this joker whose job is to entertain the King. Poor job I think. Have to make the King happy... even though he may be sad. Always scared that he may infuriate the King and lose his life somemore. So am I like that? Tired and sad.. but still have to put on a brave front in front of everybody. Thinking deeper.. I think I can handle the situation. I can recover from this setback. I just need time. Despite so many rubbish inputs that are coming to me from all directions.. I believe I am still sane enough to think rationally. Why? You got it. Because I am strong.. hahaha.. Just now even saw them studying together. Well we talked a bit and then carrying our stuffs. As I said life has to continue. I'm happy she is happy. Well I have to respect her decision mah.. cannot be a stubborn ass-hole and make a fool out of myself. Anyway glad to know her because she is a very good person. As for that guy.. well I a bit pissed that he got there first.. but we are still friends. I will bear no grudges.

So this is the update for Tecko Teck. Wah you in NUS got any happening things going on not? Share share a bit leh..

This Is The Day

This is the day that I have to declare that I had lost. No I'm not trying to make an announcement with trumpets blowing, but I'm just feeling a bit sad. Yah sad but not feeling sorry for myself. Sometimes this is how things worked. You have to take it and learn how to accept it and deal with disappointments. Life have to continue isn't it? No worries man... I can still take it. Let me cool down for a while and I will be ok. Because I am strong. Haha.. (-_-)

Hear Me Roar

Hmm... there is actually so much things to learn from soccer. The front page of today's Newpaper is this sentenc 'Hear me roar'.. Cool. Lesson one-- confidence. From Man Utd. Look at the way Rooney and Ronaldo played. Cannot imagine they are only 20 years of age. You can saw they are skilful so they are confident. But I think it's the other way round. Then look at how Man Utd bounced back from their early season slump. Look at the way Ferdinand played since he came back from suspension. Confidence. So important is this one word. Never has one word that will have such influence in one's life. Ok.. maybe you may think this is a bias entry because I'm all about Man Utd. You can quote other teams if you want lah.. but one thing cannot be missing. That is the word CONFIDENCE. Try to find real life role models for you to have reference.. think it will be of great help. Remember... though you maybe down at the moment.. you are not out.

Confidence Is The Word

Glory glory Man Utd!!!... Ok.. need not so anymore. Critics had write off their chances. Now they are back with a vengence. What a 6-2 hammering. It has been a long time that I had enjoyed a Man Utd match. And it's worth staying up through the night. All the way Man Utd! Teach me a thing or two about being confident!

Rode through NTU last night... free and easy (free and easy = slippers + no helmet). Cool.. very cold but refreshing. Tonic for my worries.

So most of my soccer gays friends had hit a snag on their quest for the Holy Grail. Hey I don't seemed to fare any better. Is it me or her? But this is me.. really have to change? Very pissed with myself for my inability to do things right.

Confidence is the word. Hope things will turn out fine. Hope is not enough though. Have to act to make things work.. then hope. =)

Super Screwed Me

Everybody is screwed. Jinx is screwed. Fat Busterd seemed screwed. Tecko Teck looked screwed. I AM SCREWED. Think only BY and xiong the bear are immune. Or are they? Hmm...

How? I am screwed. But I want to looked strong. So am I considered a hypocrite? I only want to be strong so that it will not affect my morale and at the same time spread the 'depression' to other people. I want to be a 'pillar of strength'. But can I? Can I really hang on? Looked strong on the outside but screwed up inside. So no difference leh. No no no... cannot think this way. I am strong.. so are you..

Puppy Love

There was a little boy who like animals very much. So on his birthday, his father boughted him a puppy. The boy love the puppy very much. The puppy was also happy to have the boy as his new master. As this is the first pet that the boy have, he was very protective of it. He wanted to do lots of things to make the puppy feel at home and comfortable. He wanted the puppy to be very very happy. He wanted to share any problem the puppy might be facing in the new environment. The puppy was glad of his master attention intially. But as times goes by, the puppy felt too restrained by the attention that the boy was giving. Sensing this loss of control over the puppy, the boy thought he wasnt doing enough n that is why the puppy is starting to drift away. So he told himself that he must put in even more effort and continue to do more things. But the puppy wasnt feeling happy anymore everytime he see his master instead it feels pressurised and scared. It doesnt know why his master is acting this way but it was too much for it. He wanted to it to be happy but it wasnt feeling happy at all. So one day the puppy ran away and the boy was very sad. But the sadder part is that the boy still thought that his puppy ran away because he wasnt doing enough.

I think i had enough of you, life. I know I am here for a purpose. I kind of recognise it recently. I was strategically placed to help people around me who are in need of my concern and help. I can offer them consolation and help. I really enjoyed that.

But is it over? is everything done? can i do it one-time-good, get over and done with it? Well, i'm saying that because i feel extremely tired now. I don't think i can offer anything anymore. So if i can't fulfill my function, what's the point hur?

i'm wasting the oxygen on earth. i'm wasting myself.

don't worry, i'm not blaming you. i had great times. really great times. all i want is to keep all these memories with me forever.

i can't handle so much. and it's only because i'm weak. sorry for being so weak. i may have to quit. anyone wants to take over my role? please!!

This Is My Brain, Maybe It's True..

Xiaolong, you are somewhat left-hemisphere dominant and a predominantly visual learner, an interesting blend of characteristics!

You are an intensely visual person, active and continuously searching. As such, there is no rhythm or beat to limit your learning. You are constantly absorbing and imaging. Your tendency to be left- hemisphere dominant, however, creates some difficulties. You continue to attempt to structure all that input and categorize it, at the same time continuing to seek out new input while "reflecting" in what you have already gained.

With your visual orientation absorbing so much input, you sometimes utilize your left-brain focus to identify logical aspects of what you perceive and may become overwhelmed by details.
When faced with situations where you have to rely on verbal input exclu- sively, you may find yourself needing to work more on maintain- ing an "overview" or perspective in order to fully grasp the material. It is likely that "sketching out" a representation of material that you are listening to will enhance your understanding and recall of the material. Drawing diagrams and note- taking allow you to "see" the relationships and absorb them more fully.

You tend to focus on details and are generally logical and organized. You have an intensity which is evident to others and yet can feel comfortable with the applied aspects of learning, the practical.

Given that you are somewhat goal-directed, the difficulty with being so visual is that you continuously "see" new goals and thus may be drawn from one to the other or at least forced to think about them within present structures. Because of your visual processing mode, you are regularly faced with tolerating and integrating ambiguity, a process which disrupts the equilibrium of your left-hemisphere preeminence.

It is likely that you are restless continuously and do not feel challenged. You may well explore engaging in activities which enhance right-hemisphere functioning which would reduce some of the tension you might currently be experiencing.

Linkin Park Live In Texas

Power stuffs here. For those who wants to let loose and run riot can go and buy their 'Live' VCD from stores. Yeah.. then can lend me for a while. The combination of visual and loud music are really amazing.

A rather uninspiring day for me. Looking forward to lunch everyday. Don't know why. Maybe that's when I can meet my friends bah. The same group of balless friends. Haha....... but things are slowly changing. I can sense it. For the better or for the worst? Only time can tell... Let God be the judge.

Brain Check With Online Shrink

http://www.mindmedia.com/brainworks/profiler

Teck, you are mildly left-hemisphere dominant while showing a slight preference for auditory processing. This overall combination seems to indicate a well-working blend of logic and judgment and organization, with sufficient intuition, perception and creativity to balance that dominance.
You will at times experience conflict between how you feel and what you think which will generally be resolved in favor of what you think. You will find yourself interested in the practical applications of whatever material you have learned or whatever situation you face and will retain the ability to refine whatever knowledge you possess or aspects of whatever position you are in.
By and large, you will orient yourself toward intellectual activities and structure. Though not rigid, you will schedule yourself, plan, and focus on routine and continuity of operations, rather than on changes and disruptions
When changes or disruptions occur, you are likely to consider first how to ensure that such disruptions do The same balance is reflected in your sensory preference. You will tend to be reflective and measured in your interaction style. For the most part, you will be considered objective without being cold and goal-oriented while retaining the capacity to listen to others.
Preferentially you learn by listening and maintaining significant internal dialogues with yourself. Nevertheless, you have sufficient visualization capabilities to benefit from using graphs, charts, doodles, or even body movement to enhance your comprehension and memory.
To the extent that you are even implicitly aware of your hemispheric dominance and sensory style, you will feel most comfortable in those arenas which emphasize verbal skills and logic. Teaching, law, and science are those that stand out among the professions, along with technical sales and management.

Useless Guy

Haha... I'm not trying to condemn myself or pour cold water on you guys lah.. so relax! It's the title of the CD that I'm listening now. And they are not depressing songs... but soothing and inspiring.. yah Jinx and fat bustard should know what I mean.

Guess we had been busy 'entertaining' ourselves with small problems but fail to keep a look out for the 'big picture'. Ok... while we are busy trying to find a solution for one problem, I hope that you people won't forget other things as well! Think about it.

Flipped through the new Ikea catalogue. Those furnitures are nice man. Think its the way they package their products. I would love to work on their warehouse. One of my 'dream' part-time job. Another one is a waiter in a cafe. Maybe I will try my luck again during the holidays.

My mother gave me some money for my bike purchase. Actually I don't need them. But she insist.. saying that I must repay her when I went out to work. Haiii.... think that I had 'neglected' her during these times but she still cares for me. Must wake up my idea man. Guess I will also tone down on my advances on her... since it is not effective at all. There seems to be more important things waiting for me. Hope I'm wrong and she really cares for me.

Fat bustard is right. We seemed to be like kids. Both appearance and in thinking. Self confidence? Must work on it. Another thing... do we trust one another?? Can we really fall on each other in times of crisis? God gives me strength...

明天的微笑

有时候 走过一段路心
才会清澈 也才会看到
关于爱 延伸的滋味
不要去发酵 仔细思考
爱过的他 和流过的泪
都会是珍贵的记号
忘不忘 不重要
只要准备好 明天的微笑
无论在天涯海角 相信爱
总会千方百计把你寻找 可能他
终于明了你有多好 想回头
朝你奔跑 只要准备好
明天的微笑 当你想拥抱
爱总会 出奇不意静静悄悄来到
也许在 生命里的某个转角
另一个人 会给你寂寞相同微笑

Everyday Is A Lesson For Me

Though I am a slacker but I look forward to each day as a fresh new challenge to me. Where do I get the energy from? I don't know. Maybe is hope. I hope for something new each day. I hope for a break through.

Went to buy a bike liao. Can't get the price that I want... but still reasonable lah. Ok... next target.. Super 4!!!

Knock, and the door will be opened. Ask, and it will be given. What's wrong with asking? Why do people afraid of asking? What are they thinking of when they want to ask but dare not? And what about the answers? Why are answers so difficult to get? When people ask something.. they expect answers. So please reply.

Have a great talk with my platoon friend. I call him Ah Tan. He accompany me to buy the bike. He's my team mate and the person I trust and respect the most during my army days. Phew.... miss those days actually. Right now there is nothing that can compare to the camaradie that I experience during those days. That's why I love to get into a SOF unit. Tough... crazy.. but the team bonding thing is the one that I love. He urged me to be more decisive. Haha.. ok point taken. Thanks dude. More decisive... ok.. action time!!

Hey guys... whenever you failed on something... don't just give up k? As Ah Tan said... learn to pick opportunities.. but if fail.. learn to let go too. Pick yourself up and carry on whatever you have left.

Something Stupid!

I know I stand in line until you think you have the time
To spend an evening with me
And if we go someplace to dance, I know that there's a chance
You won't be leaving with me
And afterwards we drop into a quiet little place and have a drink or two
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"

I practice every day to find some clever lines to say
To make the meaning come through
But then I think I'll wait until the evening gets late and I'm alone with you
The time is right, your perfume fills my head, the stars get red and, oh, the night's so blue
And then I go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like "I love you"

The Best Place

You are alone walking in the desert. Tired and thirsty, you saw a oasis in front of you. You walked towards it. 10 minutes. 20 minutes. 30 minutes had past but you seemed not to get anywhere nearer to the oasis. Then you know it is just a mirage. What would you do? Continue walking in that direction? Or change your course? Haha... I also don't know the answer.

Where will be the best place in your life? Who will you prefer to be with at your best place?

I'm going to buy my bike later. I'm supposed to feel excited. But what I am feeling now is something like a defeat. This marks another important chapter in my life.

Is it really so sucky to sign on? Why people always gives the same answer? Please remember who are protecting your ass and clearing up criminals on the street at this moment..

I want answers. But I got smoke grenades instead. Have to be decisive. My team mate still said that I am indecisive. Haha.. yeah.. habits are difficult to erase. But I will change this bad habit of mine. Slowly but surely.

To all those who are facing the what-quater-crisis-or something-like-that, I say hey man... you are not alone. This is a learning process. Everyone will go through it. Be steady man.. we will go through them together.

Chocolate peanut life

They call it the "Quarter-life Crisis." It is when you stop going along with the crowd and start realizing that there are many things about yourself that you didn't know and may not like. You start feeling insecure and wonder where you will be in a year or two, but then get scared because you barely know where you are now. You start realizing that people are selfish and that, maybe, those friends that you thought you were so close to aren't exactly the greatest people you have ever met, and the people you have lost touch with are some of the most important ones. What you don't recognize is that they are realizing that too, and aren't really cold, catty, mean or insincere, but that they are as confused as you. You look at your job... and it is not even close to what you thought you would be doing, or maybe you are looking for a job and realizing that you are going to have to start at the bottom and that scares you. Your opinions have gotten stronger. You see what others are doing and find yourself judging more than usual because suddenly you realize that you have certain boundaries in your life and are constantly adding things to your list of what is acceptable and what isn't. One minute, you are insecure and then the next, secure. You laugh and cry with the greatest force of your life. You feel alone and scared and confused. Suddenly, change is the enemy and you try and cling on to the past with dear life, but soon realize that the past is drifting further and further away, and there is nothing to do but stay where you are or move forward. You get your heart broken and wonder how someone you loved could do such damage to you. Or you lie in bed and wonder why you can't meet anyone decent enough that you want to get to know better. Or maybe you love someone but love someone else too and cannot figure out why you're doing this because you know that you aren't a bad person. One night stands and random hook ups start to look cheap. Getting wasted and acting like an idiot starts to look pathetic. You go through the same emotions and questions over and over, and talk with your friends about the same topics because you cannot seem to make a decision. You worry about loans, money, the future and making a life for yourself... and while winning the race would be great, right now you'd just like to be a contender! What you may not realize is that everyone reading this relates to it. We are in our best of times and our worst of times, trying as hard as we can to figure this whole thing out.

Open Up

That's what one of my girl friend said to me last night. Not the first time I heard it. Open up so that others can understand you better..... open up to avoid misunderstanding.... open up to be more approachable.. points taken.

So she did not know my intention... or is it? I have discovered a big gap that is waiting for me to close. My friend said that the first rule of chasing after a girl is to be her friend first. This is a step that must not be skipped. You have to understand her.. understand not as to know what she liked, when is her birthday, what's her hobby.. but also her character... her worries and joy. She has to be comfortable while being with you. * Gasp*! Think I have more work to do. Things are not as good as I thought................ Yah... for those who are trying to sian a girl right now.. think have to take note of this.. from a girl so it can't be more wrong.

Going to buy my bike tomorrow. Think bike is the only thing that can gives me joy at the moment... unless my 'new' bike is as good as Jinx's, I don't foresee any major hiccups. Please no.

I am going to keep a goatee... guys wish me luck on that.

For those who keeps on MIA and can't meet up.. yah know you guys are busy. All the best in whatever you are doing now. Maybe after that can meet up with everybody and share with us what you have learnt.. yup those talk cock sessions.

向左转向右转- Fish leung

终于看杂志 不再先看他的星座运势
分手后头一次 接完他的电话安然无事
昨天掉的泪 是明天的诗 青春就该有故事
向左转向右转 都会有新的答案 世界很宽
越释然越勇敢 什么都尝试碰过 才好玩
自由被再绑架之前 我决定过瘾的享爱孤单
爱做什么事 不必麻烦先问他的意思
也许有些节目 只能在家自己看看电视
昨天掉的泪 是明天的诗 青春就该有故事
向左转向右转 总有片天空蔚蓝 世界很宽
心太冷心太烦 找几个麻糬好友 来陪伴
没什么营养的提案 闹一闹笑一笑也够温柔 都会有新的答案
世界很宽 越释然越勇敢 什么都尝过碰过 才好玩

自由被再绑架之前 就让我一个人享受孤单
自由被再绑架之前 我决定过瘾的享爱孤独

to download:
http://s6.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=6E865FEC45F6390890127F49B2A08161

The Domino Effect

G= ImnK88*! jjd^*7 hdfbedtime b= -j @d %%id5.. ? "llop
This is what I learnt during the Kinematics and Dynamics of Machinery on Wed lecture.

Today's lab is very fast. We finished everything in one and a half hour. And everybody has the same answer. I wonder how the tutor is going to marked the papers. This is a mockery of the education here man. Everybody can't be bothered to think as this is one simple experiment... and everybody don't want to miss the opportunity of an early break. One and a half hour of break.. who won't be tempted??

What happens when you put all the eggs on a basket and you lose the damn basket?? My first reaction is bang balls...

Hope Friday is fine for me.

The World And Me

How long have you been not reading the newspaper? Watching the news? Or just stop what you are doing and take a look around you? Things happening around you not your concern? Sad for you.

So the Islamic scholars are gathering for a debate on the rise of terrorism done by muslims. They better came up with a good solution to that problem.

So Bush is asking for help in improving security in Iraq. He better succeed because I think the US can't hold for long.

So Geylang progressed into the semi-finals of AFC Cup... congrats man! Hope Home Utd can do the same too.

So some Town Councils are setting up barbed wires in void decks to stop people from playing socccer. I said fuck you ass holes! Go and use you brainless brains to make sure schools open up their under-utilised fields to the public and vacant land for some friendly sports lah. So are those jokers holding some sort of degrees? Oh my!

Bird flu bird flu... please stop as I love chicken rice.

Let me enjoy some peace and quiet in a Wednesday morning before I go out to meet the mad mad world...

What The Hell!

Hah.. I knew it that they are not happy about my performance as the CAI. Heeee..... really can't be helped as you know about my slack behavior. Change you say? Easier said than done. And I don't feel like changing anyway. And before you dished out criticism on me... hope you mean it and not said out of the reason of trying to piss me off. Thanks.

And I also know that the relationship between me and him will not be the same. Things really screw up at the moment. Thinking of stepping down as CAI as I felt I had lose the backing of the boss. But thanks to a friend, I think I won't... for the time being. Well he didn't exactly talked me out of it, but after talking to him I felt better... know what I should do next. Thanks Lex.

As a soccer theory has written... the match is not over until the last whistle is blown. Ok... I experienced that yesterday. After all the sucky happenings I still have to endure this shit. Yesterday is one of the suckiest TKD training that I ever had. I tried to ignore what is happening around me but very difficult leh. But one good point is I had discovered a trust worthy friend. That covers all the bad things.

OK.. I admit some things are my fault. I may be selfish in my thinking. Guess that I have to change a bit. Points taken. Think I have some points to prove. What will be my next move? Yeah... smile and take ACTIONS.

Hear Me Out

Hey dude... relax la. Same feeling here. Whenever I went to the printing room to print my notes.. I can't help but to feel that I am destroying Mother Earth. I mean I print so many sheets of paper but don't understand a shit of what are written on them. Cathing up... that's an attitude I am forced to adopt for this one and a half years. Hate this feeling too. Still waiting for a break through or the balls to create a break through. Sometimes like to just sit down and do nothing (impossible thought). The reason that I'm still in school is you guys. Yah.. have to admit this leh. Ok maybe now plus one gal. Think my parents will vomit blood when they know this. But I really believe I can do other better things than to stuck in some shit holes listening to some alien languages...

Very glad that now Man Utd is cheering me up.. oopps sorry Teck. Always have to dig this up.

Sigh, it's true, they all like to brag about it. sad but true, isn't it.

And setbacks just comes in the most unusual and unlikely ways.

my happiness is not in my hands now. it's in u pple's hands. if u are successful, i might feel happy for u. As for me, success is elusive.

out and down. that song really sings my thoughts aloud.

Don't u all see this every morning?

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere

Even more haunting is this:

Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

suddenly, when u are down, even the simplest thing seemed difficult and troublesome. it burdens me heavily. still unsure of my future career path. seems like i suck at everything. it's amazing huh? after all, i got pretty good grades in sec school and jc. wat happened?

i was told to challenge myself. haha. yeah, sometimes i tell myself that too. things just not gg my way and i'm too weary to encourage or motivate myself sometimes. i'm procrastinating and wasting away...blogging and wallowing in the almost dry self-pity i used to drown myself in.

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had

playing catch up. i've been doing that all my life, haven't i? i dream of an eternal slumber sometimes.

nice song...try to download it and listen

Mad World
by Gary Jules

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funnyI find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell youI find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funnyI find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever hadI find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to takeWhen people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... world
Enlarge your world
Mad world

What You Want To Be

Have you ask yourself this question before? In the movie.. Brad Pitt draged this chinese guy (why must be chinese?) out from his store and want him to say what he wants to be before he pulled the trigger on him. He gave him a few seconds to think before the poor guy confessed everything. Then Brad Pitt let him go. Will the chinese guy treassure his life even more after the incident? If you got just a few more minutes to live.. can you say out loud what you want to be? With conviction? Go on.. give it a thought. Maybe you can tell me what you want to be, because I will be very happy to hear it from you. If you don't want to tell me it's ok... I won't force you like Brad Pitt did on the movie. Haha... hmm... I would like to be.........

The Fight Club.... Again

Yup... watch it again. Yup... don't understand a shit again. But one thing very sure. It's Brad Pitt again. What's the appeal of a bad guy attitude? Wht they attract people so much? Is it because that shows those people are different from the rest... they dare to do what they want... even if society detest them? Worth a thought guys. The Fight Club... Brad Pitt... o yeah.. don't be surprise if you see a change in my attitude.

Exhibitionistic? Hmm... don't even know this word exist. Whatever. I agree with Banana Yoggy that this place is for us to let off our steam. What? He didn't say that? Then who did? Anyway, I really hope you guys will stop publicising this blog. This place is my entertainment. When I'm happy I want to share it here. When I'm angry I want to fuck this place up. Those who pissed me off... believe me man.. it's better for me to screw you here then to meet me face to face. You will regret it. Ok la... worst to come I will set up another space elsewhere. It will definitely be a place where I'm the Nobody.. heeee...

Ok.. think I'm going to get a bike. After thinking for so long.. is this my final decision? I don't know. If you can't be bothered whether I'm buying or not, I don't mind too.

The Thinking Blogger

Today my friend said to me: "You know, blogging is an exhibitionistic activity, for exhibitionistic people to let off their exhibitionist sides. I can't understand why people blog. And some people blog SO MUCH." I was stunned to hear that but I pretend everything is allright. I said "Yeah..." in a cool and calm manner, nodding my head mindlessly and not daring to disagree. Suddenly it struck me that he might know that I have a blog. If he does, is he trying to imply something to me??

Later, another thought struck me. He has a blog too! It's at... nah shan't tell. If i tell he will know everything. Now another thought is striking me. If I write this down, he will read it and know what I am thinking? But I am not going to think so much now, so I'll just post this and see what he has to say to me next week in school.

Smile, Even In Defeat

Many people sulk or curse or whine or fret or sink into depression when things don't go their way. I admit I am one of them. But I'm trying to change. Because I don't like this feeling. Why should we react in this way? Because we can't accept the results? This time I will smile. Even if it is a forced one. Hypocritical? I hope not. This smile will reminds me that everything will be ok. It will reminds me to react accordingly. I tried this method recently. During training... when my head got whacked by my opponent, I just smiled back. As long as I'm standing... this guy is going to get it from me. When things don't go according to my way... I just smild to myself and said.. O yeah.. time for plan B. It's ok to feel disappointed.. I often told myself. But remember to get back on your feet afterwards. YES... YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT. Or you will just be another smiley idiot on the streets.

Tomorrow is Monday. I hope everybody will have a good start for the week.

The Letter

There is a letter on my table when I came back from home after a soccer game session. "From Australia..." my sister popped up from behind and told me while I'm inspecting the origin of the letter. Cool.. I thought. Must be from Ah Qiang. He is currently studying in Perth. I opened the letter.... and stare in disbelief. In it are words written in some sort of codes... and obviously I can't understand it. Tired after the soccer game.. I gave up and went for a bath instead. I tried to read the letter again after my bath. I racked my brains for half an hour, still cannot get it. The codes looked familiar.. think I had learnt before. After sitting there and staring at the letter for another half an hour... I decided to look Beng up. The 3 of us have been friends since we met at Police Academy 5 years ago. We became best of buddies ever since. Maybe he can help.. I thought.

We met at a coffeeshop near my house. I showed Beng the letter. After reading it within 10 seconds, Beng said to me :" Morse codes.. the one we learn in Police Academy. But I forget about it since I left the unit 2 years ago.." Shit.. I thought. What the hell is Ah Qiang trying to tell me? We had been friends for so long... but now he is pulling this stunt on me. "Can you contact him?" Beng asked. He too is very concern about Ah Qiang. I can only shrug my shoulders. The joker only said he is leaving for Australia, but did not give me the full address of his whereabouts. "Can try ICQ." I said. Beng can only shooked his head. "This guy ah... why must he always let us worry.." he sighed.

That night I wait in front of my computer. And wait. And wait. He should be online at this time, I thought. And wait. Then he is online. I quickly send him a message. "You mean you don't understand the codes? Thought we learnt them before?" Ah Qiang replied. I told him I had forgotten all about the codes. "Oh.. haha.. just writing about som problems I had encounter in Australia. Need someone to confide in."
"Well.. there is no need for these codes right?" I countered.
"Heeee... don't want others to know what I'm thinking." I nearly felled off from my chair. "Now you really got what you want. I REALLY don't know what you are writing. Can you explain to me now? I really like to know. Will definitely help you within my means." I quickly shoot back... just in case he suddenly offline. Thank God he didn't. And we had a good and healthy chat online. I don't know whether my advices really helped him... but I'm glad I know what he had been going through and offered my help. And he ACCEPTED my help.

Few things I learnt from this incident. Trust is the basic foundation of a long lasting relationship. And we have to learn to accept other peoples' help. The one who is willing to offer his help will feel hurt if the other party keeps on rejecting his help.

Essence of a Chicken

Christmas is coming and Santa decided to do something different this year. He decided to create a very big Box where everyone can put wat they wanted to contribute to whoever into the box. He named it the Good Box. He had with him 12 reindeers with him to help him keep a close watch over it so that no one will steal from it.
So one week before christmas people from all walks of life came and contribute watever they could bear to part with. Most the people are quite wealthy and the stuffs they brought are quite new, stuffs like electric toasters, tv, hi-fi sets etc all which seems logical and meaningful to give it to the needy. Also as part of their job they reindeers are to go through a preliminary check to ensure that all the stuffs are fit to be given to the needy.
On the very last day there came a old woman wrapped in a tattered overcoat. Rudolf, one of the inspecting reindeer, approached the woman and see what she had brought.
On seeing that the lady was trying to put a glass ball into the box, Rudolf shouted at her, " Hey old lady wat u think u are doing. Wat are u contributing, a glass ball? Wat is the use of a glass ball, i dun understand..."
Before Rudolf could ratter on his frustration, Santa was notified of this incident and came over and told Rudolf," Hey my dear you know what you are doing? You are destroying the purpose of this box, the very essence of the freedom of giving and sharing. So shut up and move over!"
With this he waved Rudolf away and turned to the old lady and gave a warm smile. She returned with a smile and with that she rolled the glass ball into the box and left.

PS: to all who understand this article good for you , for those who dun understand, pls dun stop others from understanding ...

The Fight Club

Hmm... am I stupid or what? Because I can't understand what the movie is about. Yup... but I will watch it over and over again until I get it. But one thing for sure is Brad Pitt damn 'shuai'. In the movie he got the slacker attitude.. which I like very much. Ya.. I am one slacker too.. but a very lousy one. Other slack with a cool attitude, mine cannot make it man. Ok.. I will put in more effort on that. The Fight Club.. I like that name too.. wooohhhoo!!

Benchmark signed on for Navy. WOW!! Really caught me off guard there. What about me? Wll I sign on too... that will be a very big big question mark...

Quiet Optimism

Ok.. after a series of who-dunno-write one of 'fantasy' entires... hope some 'real' news will change the atmosphere here. Yeah.. trying to give some life to this place.

Dunno why my toe injury haven't recover yet. Tot it's ok.. then went to spar.. then kena injured again. Think I have to take that injury seriously as NTU Close is coming. Have to damn improve my skills in order to become a force to reckon. Right now everybody is looking at Benchmark, my mentor, and another blackbelt. I can quietly do my training and when the time comes, I hope to take the centre stage by storm and show them what I'm made of. NO JOKE. THIS IS WHAT I CALL PASSION.

A very funny thing happened during training. Just as I'm preparing for my mentor's sparring training, someone approached me to say that his friend wanted me to take a picture with her. I'm shocked.. really. First time in my life got this strange request. Turned out is a girl from ROC I think.. ok quite pleasant looking. But this taking photo thing really surprised me.

While I'm helping out to keep the stores (dunno why Chief Instructor have to do this shit), another surprise hit me. A good one. Just as I'm about to go to toilet to change, she said something to me. This short sentence really makes me 'high' man. Went back and use my calculator to calculate my chances. People said don't put all the eggs on one basket... but I just can't help it.

Hold Your Fire

Hey guys.. sometimes I know that you mind will be full of 'inspirations'.. but I hope that you people know what you are writing. It will do no good if you continue to post 'strange' entries. Once in a while is ok. But continously posting them will only makes this place 'weird'. I'm not saying that you cannot post.. but I really want to stress that you have to know what you are writing.. This will makes the entry more worthwhile to read.

Went to watch The Terminal with Cai. A very last minute decision. I have to left early from my dinner with my committee friends... he have to rush down to cinema after tuition. Actually wanted to watch Dodgeballs. Felt like laughing at stupid jokes. But The Teminal is a very watchable movie too. And I enjoyed it. Think Cai too. However the movie seemed to remind me that good guys cannot get their babes. I mean.. hey what's wrong with Tom Hanks. He seemed a likable chap to me.. but the gal choose a crap instead. Ok.. enough of it. But I gald that he had a lot of good friends there... or else I don't think he can survive so long at the airport.

Really felt relieved while walking back to hall. The day had ended smoothly for me. Can't wait for weekend to come..

Free To Decide (part 2)

My mind is in a mess by now.. go back and confess or not? What!!? Confess? You crazy? If you shut up and act as if nothing happen nobody will notice! My 'bad' moral friend inside me shouted. No no.. this is not good. You are not like that.. where is the good old boy that I used to know? My 'good' moral friend replied. With a sign... I said down on the pavement. "What's wrong?" Sheng asked in concern.
"I'm ok.. just realized that I left something at Hui's house. You go first la." I said.
"Ok.. remember lunch at usual place tomorrow!" beamed Sheng as he left.
I gave a smile... a forced one. I dreaded what is going to happen next. So I'm going back to confess? I asked myself. There is no need to, you are free to decide.. my 'bad' moral friend said.. giving me a pat on my shoulder. What the fuck.. I said to myself before I stand up and head for Hui's house.

"Hey, what makes you come back?" Hui laughed as he saw me again. Slowly... I wanted to open my mouth and speak. But no words came out. I struggled.
"Nevermind, tell you again next time." I said and I turned and leave.
"No, no, what you want to say?" Hui grabbed me by the arm and ask.
I looked at him.. and slowly took out the crystal from my pocket. If he was surprised then he did a good job by not showing it. I explained to him that I like the crystal so much that I did a stupid thing by taking it without asking. Hui was silent... He took the crystal from me... then he said :"Ok.. since you like it so much.. then I will put it on sale. Asking price is $3000." I'm stunned. Where the hell can I get so much money?

I looked at him... he stared back at me. "Ok.. deal." I said. I headed back home and flipped through the classified section of the newspaper. I must not slack now. The crystal is on sale and I will lose it if I slack. I am grateful that Hui did not really take it to heart about the incident.. but I don't know whether our relationship as friend will be the same as the past....

A tribute to the bad guys or aka jerks

This rant is written as a tribute to the not-so-nice guys out there. You cant see them easily bcos some are real good hider but you know they are out there. The bad guys that always finish first, that always seems to become more than friends with the girls and endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, without knowing that they are the ones.
This is dedicated to the guys who are always on the alert for chio girls whether with or without their girlfriends by their sides. Blame it on that innate feeling called curiosity within each homosapien.
This is for all the guys who never seems to spare a thought for their opposite equals, never hold a door open ever once for them, never slow down to their pace. Blame all these on sociologists who advocate sexual equality.
This is in honor of those guys who lurks in clubs or disco to pick up any drunken girls and any advantages that comes along with them. Blame it on their roving limbs which are in term controlled by their hormones. In short, blame it on their biological structures and systems.
This is for the time when you lied to her when she wanted to go shopping saying that you had to book in early that week, when you were instead sleeping at home. Yes blame it on the Army for making you so tired.
This is for the time when you were typing sweet sentences to her on msn and simultaneously to about 3 others girls on the same window. Blame it on technology for bringing people closer, too close.
This is for the time when u dun want to drive her home and instead lied that your dad need the car urgently. Blame it on the turmoil in the middle East that resulted in the price of petrol to rise.
This is for the countless times that you are late for the date becos you are used to her waiting and not the other way round. But dun worry it isnt your fault exactly , blame it on the poor transport system.
There should and will not ever be a logical and convincing (to the nice guys) explanation to the bad-guys-finish-first phenomenon but it is just here to stay. So to the nice guys just accept the fact that you wont be getting laid or going out with the gals as often as the bad guys who seems to possess an immersible charm, seen as an avenue of excitement to the ladies. Believe me it is really nice to have you nice guys around it really make the world a better place. You all really deserve a better explanation other than just a word of sorry. But i know to you all it is already more than enough cos u all are just that nice. But dun totally give up as there are nice gals, though not a lot left, who will still believe and willing to give the nice guys a chance but the tricky part is getting to them.Though you all might not get the gals first it doesnt mean you all wont. It just means that you all will have to try more, wait longer, put in more and walk a longer distance than the rest and you all will definitely get there. So have a nice time finding, all the nice guys and meanwhile the not-so-nice guys remember to walk with your head high still cos it is not really your faults totally for all that you have done. But the most important reason is that you all got the gals, so look up high and look proud cos you all have won the holy war, a war that was never meant to be fought.

Sometimes, I feel that language is built on lies and deceit. What if we live in a world, where no one can lie and we could communicate effectively without talking. that is we could read each other minds with 100% accurracy.

Then we will not need language anymore. I'm sick of languages. The ambiguity of meaning, the
unseen reason for communicating.

Why do they say this?
What were they thinking when they say this?
How do they want me to respond?
When should I respond?
Who should I trust?

If I have to be told lies.....pls tell me beautiful lies.

PAIRS

Just like that
I was walking along a crowded street when he came up to me. He had the most forgettable face and I wouldn't have noticed if he hadn't stopped just in front of me.

Before I could say anything or walk away, he whipped out a smelly fish from his trench coat and slapped it on my face. Wet, cold and smelly.

I was like "what the fuck?" Then I felt my body grew lighter. I began to float.

"I'm death. You are dead now." He said solemnly.

"Just like that? what the fuck?"


Tightrope
I couldn't recall how I ended up there. For as long as I can remember, I was there. And perhaps I was there since the beginning of time.

There I was, balancing on a tightrope with its ends tied to two tall towers on either side. The two towers were the only thing I can see. I can't see how high I was. I looked down and it was a blur. But I was strangely born with the idea that there is a safety net below me.

"Move!!! Get to the tower." A voice from the sky boomed. It was so loud I could have fell after hearing that. But it seems I have an innate flair for balancing on that particular pt. After all, I've been there since god knows when.

While, I feel perfectly at ease balancing at that point, it not difficult to imagine that I would like to move away.

I chose 'right' because it sounded 'right'. I held my breath and slowly took one step to my right.
Shit, the moment I left my original position, my sense of balance left me. I began to wobble. I began to fear.

There was no time to think so I took another step, to attempt to restore balance. It makes things worse. I have to move faster and faster towards the tower on my right. "What the hell is there? Why am I even moving there?" My subconscious screamed. Or I could go back to my safe position.

The thought that there would be a safety net suddenly becomes ridiculous.

PoPcorn N HoTdogs

"Hey can i hav a popcorn and a hotd.." said a guy.
"Are you a nice guy?" asked the waiter behind the counter impatiently as he examined this guy wearing a spec and with nicely-cropped hair ; black no colour.
Slightly taken aback by this unusual challenge the guy was dumbfounded for a second as he tried to make some sense out this. But he still managed to reply asap so as not to hog up the queue, and as politely as possible too ," er..er ... considering the fact tt i had nvrm tried to harm anyone, i think im a nice..."
But before he could finish his sentence the waiter started to wave him away,
"To the end of the queue ...Next!"

A tribute to the nice guys

This rant was written for the Wharton Undergraduate JournalThis is a tribute to the nice guys. The nice guys that finish last, that never become more than friends, that endure hours of whining and bitching about what assholes guys are, while disproving the very point. This is dedicated to those guys who always provide a shoulder to lean on but restrain themselves to tentative hugs, those guys who hold open doors and give reassuring pats on the back and sit patiently outside the changing room at department stores. This is in honor of the guys that obligingly reiterate how cute/beautiful/smart/funny/sexy their female friends are at the appropriate moment, because they know most girls need that litany of support. This is in honor of the guys with open minds, with laid-back attitudes, with honest concern. This is in honor of the guys who respect a girl’s every facet, from her privacy to her theology to her clothing style.This is for the guys who escort their drunk, bewildered female friends back from parties and never take advantage once they’re at her door, for the guys who accompany girls to bars as buffers against the rest of the creepy male population, for the guys who know a girl is fishing for compliments but give them out anyway, for the guys who always play by the rules in a game where the rules favor cheaters, for the guys who are accredited as boyfriend material but somehow don’t end up being boyfriends, for all the nice guys who are overlooked, underestimated, and unappreciated, for all the nice guys who are manipulated, misled, and unjustly abandoned, this is for you.This is for that time she left 40 urgent messages on your cell phone, and when you called her back, she spent three hours painstakingly dissecting two sentences her boyfriend said to her over dinner. And even though you thought her boyfriend was a chump and a jerk, you assured her that it was all ok and she shouldn’t worry about it. This is for that time she interrupted the best killing spree you’d ever orchestrated in GTA3 to rant about a rumor that romantically linked her and the guy she thinks is the most repulsive person in the world. And even though you thought it was immature and you had nothing against the guy, you paused the game for two hours and helped her concoct a counter-rumor to spread around the floor. This is also for that time she didn’t have a date, so after numerous vows that there was nothing “serious” between the two of you, she dragged you to a party where you knew nobody, the beer was awful, and she flirted shamelessly with you, justifying each fit of reckless teasing by announcing to everyone: “oh, but we’re just friends!” And even though you were invited purely as a symbolic warm body for her ego, you went anyways. Because you’re nice like that. The nice guys don’t often get credit where credit is due. And perhaps more disturbing, the nice guys don’t seem to get laid as often as they should. And I wish I could logically explain this trend, but I can’t. From what I have observed on campus and what I have learned from talking to friends at other schools and in the workplace, the only conclusion I can form is that many girls are just illogical, manipulative bitches. Many of them claim they just want to date a nice guy, but when presented with such a specimen, they say irrational, confusing things such as “oh, he’s too nice to date” or “he would be a good boyfriend but he’s not for me” or “he already puts up with so much from me, I couldn’t possibly ask him out!” or the most frustrating of all: “no, it would ruin our friendship.” Yet, they continue to lament the lack of datable men in the world, and they expect their too-nice-to-date male friends to sympathize and apologize for the men that are jerks. Sorry, guys, girls like that are beyond my ability to fathom. I can’t figure out why the connection breaks down between what they say (I want a nice guy!) and what they do (I’m going to sleep with this complete ass now!). But one thing I can do, is say that the nice-guy-finishes-last phenomenon doesn’t last forever. There are definitely many girls who grow out of that train of thought and realize they should be dating the nice guys, not taking them for granted. The tricky part is finding those girls, and even trickier, finding the ones that are single. So, until those girls are found, I propose a toast to all the nice guys. You know who you are, and I know you’re sick of hearing yourself described as ubiquitously nice. But the truth of the matter is, the world needs your patience in the department store, your holding open of doors, your party escorting services, your propensity to be a sucker for a pretty smile. For all the crazy, inane, absurd things you tolerate, for all the situations where you are the faceless, nameless hero, my accolades, my acknowledgement, and my gratitude go out to you. You do have credibility in this society, and your well deserved vindication is coming.

Free To Decide (part 1)

"Welcome!" my friend said with open arms as we arrived at his house for house-warming. He had just bought a new house at Bukit Timah.. a beautiful private house with a garden. "A fucking rich guy man.." Sheng whispered to me as we enter the living room.. where there is a spread of good food waiting for us. We just smile. Although both of us are not as rich as Hui.. we are not jealous of him. We are proud to have him as friend instead. And he is a good friend indeed.

"Let me show you my collection of crystals!" Hui beamed excitedly as he led us into his room. In a show cabinet there are a huge variety of beautifully made crystals of different shapes and sizes. "Here is a collection of the 70's automobiles.. I collected them from Germany.." Hui rattled on. But I'm not listening. A cute little crystal monkey had caught my attention. It seemed to have a life of it's own. I immediately like the little monkey. I wanted to ask him where he got it... but Hui keep on talking about his collection of others. I wanted to ask him if he will be generously enough to give me the monkey. Anyway it's just a crystal monkey.. won't worth much I thought. But I'm embarrassed to ask him. I'm afraid he will say no. He will laugh at me for being poor... not able to afford it.. so on. Before we leave the room... I turned and took a last look at it.. and left quietly.

"Thank you and hope you all enjoy yourself!" waved Hui as Sheng and I took our leave. "Hey you looked distracted.. what happen? Sheng asked.
"Nothing.. nothing at all," I replied. In my pocket there hide the crystal monkey. I secretly went back to the room and took it. Hui won't find out... There are so much collections over there and he will not pay attention to it.. I thought. Fuck.. but this is not right! My moral friend inside me screamed at me.. I am having second thoughts. Am I doing the right thing? The answer is obvious. But I really like the design and would like to keep it as my own......

The Bus Trip 2

He is sitting beside her. And I am sitting beside him. I knew I'm in deep shit. He must have sense it. The way he asked me made me stumble for an answer. Simple questions like "Are you going to eat with us at Extension" can made me speechless. How to tell him that I am going home with her? I know I had nothing to hide, but I still felt guilty. Now I think he had stepped up a gear... trying to create a defensive wall around her. I knew I have no choice. One day I have to make clear to him my intentions. I don't want to be a hypocrite. I hate hypocrites. But I dreaded the arrival of that day.. I'm not prepared for this at all... Imagine my relief when everybody had got off the bus..

The Run

'How can a fat guy run so fast' i murmured to myself as i turned my head n glanced for the dunno how many times at this sloppy piece of wobbling fats that is going to catch up with me once again. i had pulled away from him times n times but he just couldnt be totally shook off.
'No he is not running very fast, in fact it is me who is slowing down to let him catch up with me.'
Could it be my complacancy or his sheer determination?
i hastened my pace but suddenly i feel fatigued. My legs suddenly feel like giving way. Am i mentally unprepared for this challenge.
The determined look on the fat ass is disgushing to me, sort of belittling all that i had done.
I know he know very well that he could catch up with me but what had happened to all my lead.
I knew very well in the beginning tt he is of no threat but things had changed, changed very much.
The fat ass wasnt interested in how others look at him. That is why he could fully concentrate on his run, his breathing, his pacing. He is focused while i am disillusioned by this false sense of victory that i had given myself right from the start.
'Will i lose this race?' finally i had came to accept the thought of losing to this fat ass; a thought tt would had been deemed as ridiculous before. But the threat had always been there just tt i wasnt awared.
I wasnt too mentally prepared for this challenge but i knew i couldnt lose. I would pound and bang myself for losing lead, for celebrating an unfinished race.
"i couldnt lose ...l couldnt....lose," admist my irregular breathing i could hear another set of breathing getting louder and louder.

Tone Down

Ok la guys... I will tone down on my war fantasies. Tone down, not give up. One week break is here... so I expect some mugging from everybody. But nice supper last night man. And Cai.. you nearly lose it man.

Anyway, just want to let Cai know that it's not that I am not going to buy a bike. I will.. but the question is when. I love to ride. But this time, something is vying for my attention too. I just don't want to lose the opportunity to ride on the bus with her. Hope you get what I mean man. But I will get a bike.

Wah Tecko Teck.. hope you don't find me a bother. My problems are actually quite simple.. can be solved with simple and straight forward solutions. But I lacked the balls and determination to carry them out. Yup.. but I am trying now.. whether accademic or otherwise.. I am putting in more effort.

Yup yup yup... let this space have a rest. Cheers to everyone and all the best.

Stand Up And Be Counted

Finally! So finally.. I passed my motorbike test. I am the last group to get the results.. and I am the last guy of the group. Nearly got a heart attack over there. But I'm not sure whether to get a bike now... because I want to have the slim hope of able to go home with her on bus.

Very happy to receive so much encouragement from friends. Really glad to pass this TP.. or else I don't know how to face them. "You can do it one.. jiao you!" but then i fail again.. c'mon, I had enough of these disappointments. But I'm really really very happy and relieved to clear this obstacle. Believe me man.

Pluck some balls to ask her friend. Got conflicting results. O no.. I hate this. Anyway, please don't think I'm trying to make use of this friend. I had known her for a year liao anyway. Still clinging on to my last hope...

Carry On

The sharp shrill of whistle rang thru my ears. The gate is opened and we all rushed out. My companion immediately got knocked down by a bullet. Fuck man... get out of my way! I screamed as i pushed n shoved the guy in front.. This bastard is trying to get me killed! Then he got shot too... in front of me. That bullet is aiming for me... but he got it first. Thank you.. i muttered before i jumped into the cold water. The sea water taste salty... plus bloody. Cmon... keep going... i told myself. At last i stepped into dry land.. not dry exactly. I turned and peeped at the landing craft next to me. I saw MG rounds raining generously on the land-bound soldiers. Don't look back.. keep going! I screamed to myself. Bullets are flying all around me. I am huffing and panting.. the weight on my shoulders are too much to bear.. I felt like fainting. "Keep moving! Go forward!" I heard someone shouting. Move.. I said to myself in between my pantings.. don't give up.. There is it! I saw the rally point.. 100 metres in front of me.. continue... go for it.. don't stop.. I told myself.. You can make it one..

the last bet

the stakes are high. i clutched my last piece of gold closely to my heart. she's there...on the flimsy-looking platform. i only have 1 shot at it. the game is simple. the pimp on the stage will play a simple game of 'big' or 'small' with whoever wants her. winner gets her.....loser lose his gold....and for me, i will lose her. such simplicity of the game insults my deep passion for her but i
will have to abide with the rule if i want her. and believe me, i want her bad. The fact that the whole game will be decided by luck, or if u like to call it, fate, makes me uneasy. it's not a matter of strength or intelligence. it's governed by this strange fickle force who will forsake me when i least expect it.

mr anderson was beside me. he helped me raise money for this one chance. we gave up a lot...and we were about to be thrown into the deep end of the whirlpool of fate.

he said, "may the force be with u"

i ignored him. i was too busy thinking. shld i go for it first? what if i lose? i've seen the first few plays....those who went up to try their chance first always lose. what if i don't go up first and some1 else wins her? i will never be able to forgive myself. i looked to mr anderson. he seemed to understand my dilemma and so he had stoped mumbling 'may the force be with u' already. and i am thankful.

i needed to make up my mind. she's the next. she's like no other girls who seat on the platform. she is calm and composed, almost stoic to the fact that she is being sold. her strength is what attracts me to her..but i hope it will put other pple off.

"and now, the young and pretty 'jade swallow'. Bird's nest not included but it comes with more than a handful of attitude. now who wants to go first."

damn...i haven't made up my mind. fuck it. i couldn't think anymore......still undecided, i followed the crowd and raised my hand. they were quite slow, but i was slower. at least 5 hands were faster than me. now it seems that i was doomed to lose her. all of a sudden, it struck me like a hammer that it makes good sense to aim to be the first now. it wouldn't be difficult. the rest of them doesn't seem too interested.

Amid the noise, i wished she would look at me. but i wouldn't have known how to look back at her. she would mock me for being a coward. she would. she would and i would have nothing to answer to that.

"now, sir, u raised ur hand first. would u like to guess 'big' or 'small'?

the fat guy pondered for a moment. a moment so short it won't even be enough for me to raise my hand....

he said, "small...since she is so petite. hahahaaha"

many pple laughed....i didn't. i wanted to guess small too...it's was so-not-funny to me. i felt as though time froze and the mass of the world is cramped within my skull.

the pimp, now looking more evil than b4 acknowledged his bet. he rolled.....i closed my eyes.

"1, 2, 3, SMALL!! congrats sir, u won urself a concubine!! haha"

everyone in the whorehouse went crazy for him. i slowly released my grip on that precious piece of gold and let it fall to the ground. i dun need it anymore. i looked on as she was carried away by the fat guy...she still looked composed but i saw i felt her tear. perhaps it was my tears. my vision was slowly blurred by tears. i could only see her outline...i couldn't see her face. i couldn't see if she was looking at me.

mr anderson patted on my shoulder, "take it easy, pal"

"and now we have the cute and gentle 'little dolphin' " the most evil-looking pimp in the world announced.

with steps as heavy as my heart, i walked out of the whorehouse.

i know....i've lost more than my gold and her.

The Shining Stars

Time is 1245. Came back from dinner with them and had a good bath. But i can't get to sleep. Then I took a walk... to SRC. The road are peaceful.. as usual. Hey am I taking it for granted? Ok.. thank God for the peaceful night so that I can take a walk in peace. I know the reason for not able to sleep. Hmm... hope the walk will cool me down a bit.

The grandstand is the perfect place for me. I sat down and enjoy the night. Some joggers are still running... yup... running round in circles. Stop it I told myself. No point drowning myself in self pity... not good for my health. Easier said than done. I looked to the dark sky... trying to count the stars. 3? 5? But hey there are countless of stars out there..

Nevermind... I always told myself. Not the first time right? But the blow is too big la, this time. Nevermind...

Picked yourself up and continue... the road is long and winding..

The world and me 3

Finally got time to update on my blog. Yeah guess wat i had been drafted into the Ant Army or AA commonly referred to around here. Hey way back i didnt even know the existence of an army in my house.
The first day tt i was drafted i was given the rank of a novice equivalent of a recruit in my old times. The first rule ard here is tt novice doesnt have the right to voice their opinions or rather no one listen to them. Guess it wasnt much different here.
We did drills in the morning and study food plan in the afernoon where we were trained to memorise different routes to food. There wasnt much time to laze about here, everbody was rushing around. sometimes we would be send to patrol or food route to safeguard them against any rival army and at the same time to familiarise with the routes. Guess tt is what novices had to do.
Most of the routes center around the kitchen for obvious reason but i really yearn to make a trip just one back to my room to see how things had changed. But i will be charged with awol if i did so without permission as it will take one whole day to make a to and fro trip. so i could only look from afar i had actually devise a plan tt could shorten my trip. I would hop onto anyone tt come into the kitchen and drop myself off when they are somewhere near my room. The AA gave us a shock absorption vest which will prevent me from falling to my death. now u know why you can never kill an ant by tossing it down from a great height.
Oh no my sergt is inspecting us as it is supposed to be light-off already..

Rain Drops Falling On My Face

Finally! It had not been raining for a long time. This timely rain must had brought joy to the thirsty land. But there is no joy here.. only death. Although I am sheltered... but the broken roof still made sure that I'm drenched throughout. Cold. Cold is the word that can describe what I am feeling now. I missed my mother's hot curry. Missed my sister's whinning. Missed my father's presence. Missed my friends' rubbish talk. I am alone now. Missed her smile.

I must prove myself. I must prove that I am the best. All these years had been hell to me. Toiled through the school days.. the hard training.. if not for her i would not be here. Now I have the chance to show what I am made of. I will made them proud. I touched the sniper badge with my hand... feeling the cold metal peircing through my heart. Her encouragement ringed through my ears... I took a deep breath.. concentrate I told myself.

They are here. I will choose my target now. What the fuck is the black guy doing? He seemed to be in control over here. What? What the hell is he carrying the little girl? Are they trying to save her? Fuck it man... kill. I am the best. All these years I am the good guy... now I am the bad one. Haha.. I pulled the trigger. First blood. I gunned down my first victim! I am thrilled. Suddenly I felt guilty. What have I done? This war should not be happening at all.. We are at fault in the first place. She would be ashamed of my actions... no wonder she choose the other guy... Wait! She did not choose me because I am lousy! You have to carry on now... There is no turning back. I am the bad guy now! Yeah!! I am the best!! Now for my next target...

Shit... they are all in hiding... can't set up another good shoot. Stop it.... she seemed to whisper to my ears. My friends seemed to walk away. My family had turned their back on me.. No.. I can't turn back now.. I peeked through my scope... forcing my thoughts out of the barrel. Still can't find a nice target... then she walked away too. Wait! Don't all leave me! I screamed to myself.... Ha! Spotted a target. Aim... hey isn't he a sniper too? In deep shit now... her smile flashed across my mind before my world blacked out on me....

The Bus Trip

She sat in front of me wif her fren. I can hear her voice, her laughter, like music to my ears. As the journey carries on, she n her fren started to doze off. It was quite a funny sight.... to see 2 gals sleeping in front of me. Im sleepy too... but i dun wan to sleep. I juz wan to watch her.. even if it's only her back view(not stalk her, idiot). Want to protect her... want to care for her. Nevermind tat she dun know abt it. She leaned her head to the glass window for support. How i wish she will use my shoulder. Then she was awake. She turned ard n smiled at me.. looking a bit embarrassed. Of course i smiled back. I wld be damned if i dun. Think she was embarrassed by her 'ugly' sight while sleeping. I dun mind. To me she is perfect. During the camp she was the driving force for everyone. Her moltivation n encouragement spurs everybody. Credit muz be given to her to make the camp livelier. No wonder she is the best freshie of her hall at tat time.

Very happy tat she accompanied me to buy the flowers. Why i din act fast enuf? Can i really chase bk the lost cause? Maybe i can ride my bike to the end of the world to find the ans... if i ever get a bike..

Why Like That?

I dunno wat happen... so wat shd the headlines be? "Lousy Man Utd nearly flopped against superb Bolten" or "Man Utd nearly did it again"? Im always in agony everytime i watch them play. They possess the strongest players. My fav players.. but why they cant perform? Where is the Man Utd tat i love? Tot tat despite so many lousy things happening beside me... Man Utd is the source where i can find some solace. Cmon... bring some cheer to my life please.

Im using my room mate's laptop... n he is not ard.. hope he dun mind.

Yong Qi... o where is my courage? This Ah Yue's song summed up everything for me. I have nothing more to say. I noe i noe... im slow at everything. Everything.

Can somebody comfort me? Cos im feeling really devastated....

Theatre Of Dreams

There is tension. Pressure mounting. And i tot im dreaming. But im standing next to Wes Brown n Paul Scholes. Scholes looked at me n give me a nod of approval. Brown put his huge arm ard my shoulder n gave me an assuring pat. Opposite us are Henry n co. Henry gave me a wat-the-fuck-look. Dun let me do a scissors kick on u man.. i tot to myself. Veira walked thru the Man Utd squad, pushing me n Ruud aside. Ruud has to be restrained by Neville n Giggs to prevent a fracus inside the tunnel. The volcano had erupted.

We ran out of the tunnel to the pitch. Keane ran towards me n gave me a frenly wink. The feeling is great. If not for the absent-minded Ferdinand tat got banned.. i wont have the chance to play. But now i have the chance.

A sold out crowd at Old Trafford is a sight to behold. Im like a little ant in the big field. The noise is defeaning. I felt my legs turned jelly. "Loh!!" Howard yelled at me n threw me a ball. The team started to stroke the ball ard for warm up. "Next we have Loh from Singapore!" the commentator at the stadium screamed thru his microphone. The stadium cheered. Every touch i made were greeted wif roars of approval from the enthusiastic crowd. Ferguson called me to the technical line n gave me instructions...

The referee indicated to us tat the match is abt to start. I ran bk to my position.. feeling excited. This is my big day. My family n frens will be watching this live match bk hm... but will she be watching?

Next Step

Todae got 2 quizes.Lucky Thermo is an open bk one... or i think i will hand in a blank paper. The SOM quiz is even better. A duplicate qn from the tutorial. The tutor muz be thinking how many of us actually understand the tutorial qn. Smart move. And i dunno for watever reason i calculated the angle wrongly. Juz pray tat the tutor will give me working marks. Haii...

Met Benchmark on bus while goin to meet Cai for dinner yesterday. He's damn crappy man. The 5 min trip makes me even have a better impression of him.

For some reasons.. i have lost my confidence n ideas to solve tat problem. Hated tat things turned out this way. I hope tat she will give some indications to show tat im still in contention.

So wat will be my next step?

Expect The Unexpected

Im excited. This is the first time im out on mission wif the big boys. Riding wif them in the Black Hawk is a dream came true. I clutched my carbine closer. Im going to use this man.. i goin for a real mission.

We reached the destination sooner than expected. The whole place was littered wif black smoke. "They are burning tyres to create a smoke screen!" screamed Cpl Burns beneath the noise of the rotor blades. Gunshots were heard in the distance. The battle had started. I saw marines roping down from other Black Hawks into their positions. The pilot gave a thumbs up n Sgt Miller was ordering us to get out from the chopper. "Wes you are ok?" Cpl Den asked from behind. I gave him the ok sign. Now im afraid. This is so different from the training mission. This is real. "Ur turn Pte Wes!" Sgt Miller pointed at me. I moved to the edge n juz abt to grap the rope when the co-pilot turned ard n shouted. "RPG!!" The Black Hawk rocked as it did a defensive maneuver to evade the propelling rocket. Fuck i tot to myself as i lost my footing n lurched forward. I tried desperately to catch the rope as i fall but failed. All i can see was the Sgt's horrified look in his face as i go crashing to the ground.....

Deepest Fear

Im shocked after he had left the train. I tried not to show it, but i dunno how well did i hide it. Hypocrite. I mean me. Even when im typing this, im still shocked. No.. more of lost. Juz like a scout lost in enemy terrain. Everywhere in the jungle looks the same to u. U r alone... food n water r running out. Enemy is searching high n low for u. U started to panick. U dunno whether to cont bashing ard blindly, or juz sit down n cry. U juz wan to go bk to the Base Camp n forget abt everything..

Every steps i took seemed to bring me to one place. The same place. I looked bk n tot tat im walking ard in circles. ??

Wat started out as a harmless conversation made me found out things tat i cant handle... shit why like tat one. This is no fantasy.. this is reality slapping me hard in the face. Wake up ass-hole.. Reality seemed to scream tat in my face. Haha.. tot tat im Yao Ming guarding Shaq O-neil but he still managed a powerful 2-hand slam on my face. Tat hurts.

A dog was wandering aimlessly ard the City in the morning. It is enjoying itself in the morning sun n the fresh air. But it was hungry. It had not eaten for one whole day. Then it saw some dog food by the kerb side. Cant believe it's luck. It ran happily towards it when suddenly a big fierce dog rushed out... snaring and barking n threatening to tear the poor little dog apart. Terrified.. the little dog made a run for it.. barely escaping the powerful jaws of it's attacker.

Then it went to the park to have a drink by the pool. "Hey cuttie cuttie!" a pretty little girl said as she approached the dog. The dog though still hungry... but is satisfied to have a little love. "Shoo shoo bad dog.. go away!" shouted a auntie n she attempted to throw a stone at it. Again, terrified.. the little dog had no choice but to run again.

Tired, sad, n hungry, the little dog wandered ard. Then it reached a butcher shop. It stared at those delicious meat hanging there. A menacing looking Ah Pei came out from the store n stared bk, wif a butcher knife on his hand. But the little dog din noticed. "Thump!!" the little dog jumped bk in shock... but there is a pc of meat in front of it! And a big one too! "There u go.. enjoy ur meal." the Ah Pei said. Then he disappeared into the shop. The dog was very happy n kept wagging it's tail as it ate it's food..

Is This Thursday?

Thursday... so near to thw wonderful wkend but im feeling damn tired. Can sleep thru part of the lecture wif my mouth open n again in semi-wonderland while listening to the guy toking in front during Lab lesson. GREAT. Guess next time dun put so much classes near the wkend. No mood at all. And wow... i skipped 2 tutorials todae. Ya i noe wif my crappy results i shd not have done tat but after evaluating the 'good things' n the 'bad things', i decided not to go. It's like i go no A for me. I dun go also no A for me. No surprise i choose the later. But ok la.. hope this habit will stop after the one wk break.

Speaking of the one wk break i hope i can make the full use of it. I will be praying for tat. Dun wan to waste it. Remember tat i jio pple to go Chomp Chomp? No response from u guys man. Post it on Yahoo Grp also no use. Think i have to send out invitation mails. Or do u pple expect someone to give a treat then u can consider coming out from ur hole?

During the Lab there is this Malay (surprise surprise in MPE) who is veri funnie. As u pple noe our Lab lessons r totally useless. At least to me. Dunno wat the fuck we r doing. Then got one brave guy will approached the tutor to ask him qn. Then everybody will flocked to him for ans. This malay is making all the coments tat always make me laugh. N only im laughing. So strange. His tots r like mine... 'dunno wat the hell im writing'.. 'if u wan crap copy my ans, if u wan A then forget it' this kind of shit. Ok maybe u dun find it funny..

Sorry Teck still no fantasy to write. Im thinking hard for one. Maybe Sat afternoon after my quiz my brain can function properly then i write one. Ok.. time to go training at Woodlands.. yeah..

The Day After Tomorrow

Ok guys.. i got it. Either u pple r too busy to write in this blog or u all have resigned to give me all the space. Juz wan to be alone in the Lib tat's why i choose a corner. But this guy juz wan to sit beside me. Why does he wants to piss me off? Chinaboy. Sorry..

Though i cleared one tutorial for the quiz this Sat after training (which is an achievement), i dunno how much of it actually went into my head.Feeling very vexed last night. Went for a jog. Not run la... actually the pace is very slow... think more of a brisk walk speed. But i want to enjoy the cool air outside... yeah too good to miss. Cant sleep anyway. As usual i have the whole road to myself. Cool. The shower later is even shiok. Hit the bed at 0300.. a record. Is the Jinx setting in? Shit man Cai i will hold u responsible.

Steven Gerrard is toking some sense right now. He is one of the 'sensible' guy in the England camp. I liked him. Tot Fergie signing him as a replacement for Keane. But wah lau he signed Rooney. Scared he is another Veron. I can sense tat Gerrard is ambitious. He yearns for success. But dun think he is going to get tat at Liverpool (sorry Teck). He wans to be captain... yes Captain of England. Step aside Beckham. I will personally called Fergie to sign Gerrard when the transfer window opens again. He also got this baby-faced look. Think tat really appeals to lots of gals out there.

Speaking of ambitions, i have some too. I feel tat it is importatnt to set goals. Benchmark had come down regularly for the NTU training.. im surprised. Ok i will get to noe him more n maybe be the best of sparring buddy. He is a nice guy too. My ambitions... accademic wise.. i think fuck it man. Had given up hope on tat. Really feeling tired. But i got other ambitions. Ok.. one of them is to fight for Singapore in tournament. Yup.. a Singapore TKD fighter. Too ambitious? Maybe.. but i will like to work towards tat goal. Good to declare ur goal. Makes u more commited to achieved it. Others i will keep them to myself first.. one at a time.. The calling to sign up for SOF is getting stronger......

Actually quite glad tat im quite 'pro-active' in this sem.. unlike previous tat im always waiting for things to happen. Though im feelimg a bit tired at the moment but i see those as improvements. U noe little things like looking up for tutors when in doubts.. gathering hungry ghosts to feast in one of the hunting grounds in NTU.. etc.. These seemed small to u but big to me. I hope to see more +ve responses. Hmmm... the one wk break is here soon. Hope to meet u guys in one of our lao di fang to tok cock again..

Armed Reactions

It's dinner time. I sat beside father n mother. Sensing the coast is clear.. i pop the qn. "Hey im thinking of getting a tattoo.." The response was fast n swift. They stopped eating n give me the wat-the-hell-r-u-toking-abt look. Suddenly, i can see Apache helicopters armed to the teeth rising from my father's head. Snipers were taking up positions on my mother's head. Mine fields were laid ard me in the fastest time. Sensing danger, i sent a scout to recce the situation. The poor guy was gunned down immediately. Father started to give me the wat-will-others-think-of-pple-wif-tattoo theory. Ya i noe.. but i juz wan to try out while i got the opp. I sent a delegates of negotiaters to my parents camp. I countered tat it will be a simple n small one if i ever wan to try out. IF. Anyway i said im thinking of getting one... not i confirmed wan to have one. Mother seemed to give in. She said it's ok.. but dun over- elaborate. But father didn't seemed so compromising leh. He captured my delegates n have them beheaded in front of me. Ok nvm.. at least i settled my mother's side. Anyway maybe i wont get one after all.

Realised tat i had gave out too much info liao. Sorry guys think i will have a media gag wif immediate effect until further notice. But in the mean time i will cont to plan to try to get in touch wif her la. Scared of The Jinx. Haha juz joking.

Also planning to have a self imposed silence for 2 days. Maybe this blog is over-heated wif my entries. Give others a chance la. Will be bk on Wed! Hahaha!

Ouch

Hehe... kind of addicted to this shit man. They called me a serial blogger. Haha so be it. Actually maybe im so stressed tat i need this to relak. Listening to Zhang Zheng Yue's new songs. Hey he's cool man. I like his slacker voice. Think im goin to buy his album again. But i also wan a copy of The Fight Club!! Those at the VCD shops said they dun have... o no how how how?

Played a soccer game tat ended in defeat. Haii.. had 2 bad falls consecutively to left a 10cm blood trail on my right arm. Bad day for a sport man. But glad to se my sgt again. He is kind of a funny guy. Though a bit of pai kia look, he is an interesting guy. Quite pleased wif my first half contributions.. but second half seemed to be quite disastrous. Hey guys... we will bounced bk from this defeat la. No worries.

Ok... time for the things tat i dun really like... see u guys ard.

Somewhere Out There

My heart is pounding wildly. Sweat had soaked my skinny frame... n my hands are trembling. Here we are, forming up for the mother of all battles. The King was in front rallying the troops. I cant hear wat was he saying. But he seemed animated... riding from one end to another... waving his sword. I muttred a silent prayer n looked to the sky. He is watching... God will bless us wif victory i tot. God will keep us alive. Cant help but thinking of her. Make a terrible mistake by not proposing to her. Now here i m, in Gondor facing those terrible orgcs n awful looking creatures. Take a deep breathe again. Will i see her again? Will i go hm? To my sanctuary? But the King calls for arms... n we shd respond to our brothers in trouble. I prayed tat God will give me another chance so tat i can declare my love for her. Right now... i have to fight for my survival. I looked towards my best fren.. who was a few columns beside me. He seemed to sense my tots n turned to lok at me. He gave me the we-will-fight-shoulder-to-shoulder look. Tat gave me assurrance. He was n will be my best fren man.

Suddenly the whole Army shouted out a rallying cry. Swords were unshield, bows were armed. The King led the charge forward, n the whole army followed. The orgcs were reorganising themselves.. but the army were not be detered. Everybody seemed possessed. They wan to fight... for their frens... loved ones.. for freedom... Wait for me dear.. i will go back alive n.. i promised. Wif a battle cry i charged forward to the nearest orgc. I will survived.. th battle at the Pelennor field.

Actions N Inactions

It's good to rcv positive response from a fren... but i also feel lousy if my fren did not response to my expectation. Ok.. not to say to my expectation, but sometimes their response fustrated me. Is it cos im impatient? Or i fail to see 'the bigger pict' of their response?

Many of us seemed quite busy... except me. Haha no surprise i think. Im living in my own world anyway. Ok la. Got quizes nxt wk. I will try to put in more effort. Im thinking... do we actually have a say in our own choices of education? Or are we products of a govt effort to mass produce some slaves for their own economy? I had asked ard. Some of my frens also said they dunno why they r studying so much USELESS modules. I have to stress tat they r nice n responsible pple, n they hold some positions either in hall or in their ECAs.. though they may not good academically. Actually im more int in the environment.. but there r none offered in NTU. My father said there wont be jobs available. N i din get into Environment Eng (think it's cos of my results). In another words... im forced to study MPE. Tat's so weird.

Cant sleep.. waiting for the England game. Too bad Scholes not playing. Hope tat Smith will get into the score sheet. He is a good player.

Amid all the 'confusion' ard me... glad tat something pleasant happened todae. Shall not read too much into it. But i will definitely worked on it. One more hr to the game.. shall listen to Gold 90 fm while studying for my quiz. Tat's all folks. Cheers.

Stationery talk

One fine day a group of stationery are chatting when suddenly they started challenging one another about their good points.
"Hey i m the most flexible among u all", claimed the ruler.
"But i am the most sharp dun forget ", challenged the pencil.
"No no stil got me, i am the most smooth ", added the eraser.
"But i am the brightest!", exclaimed the hightlighter.
Then when it comes to the pencil box turn he seems a bit uncomfortable
" i cant think of anything good abt me , in fact i feel so empty..."
There was a long period of silence at this remark as the stationeries suddenly felt that there was no point in arguing for the best.
Then suddenly the highlighter said, " Dun worry you are best cos we will fill you up then you will have all our good points."

What A Terrorist Act

Juz read the news of the end of the hostage crisis in Russia. WTF. Taking sch children as hostages? Those damn brainless shit really got no balls man... worst then me. Heard tat many sch children n teachers.. including parents too r killed during the raid. Haii..... wat really got into the mind of these pple? Killing innocent pple to claim their freedom. Cant they really wake up their idea? This reminds me of my dream job.. but will it becomes a reality?

Ya something exciting is going to happen......

Balls Under Fire

Remember tat i once wrote when is the right time to do something. Think there is no model ans to tat. Maybe everyone has to exp it by trial n error. But sometimes i really glad to take the initiative, either by force or by my choice.

Excited man. Cos later something exciting maybe happening. Hope tat things will run smoothly so tat i wont look so stupid.

Wah think i sustained a serious injury after my tournament leh. My left ankle will ache everytime i sleep.... my fav hobby! Anybody got some valuble advice?

Had a dream last night. Dreamt of me going jogging wif my frens. BY had a dog wif him. A terrier i think.Then we met a guy with 3 dogs. All terrier dogs if im not wrong. Then he called BY 'suai ge'. I remember asking him how much is one dog. He said $400+. I said wah so ex then i woke up liao. Hey wat is tat?

Beef Ball Noodle

Suddenly i had the craving for beef ball noodle and i know where i can get the best in town. Just below my pathetic block. I am poor and live in a small rented room but the only good things are all the good food nearby. As i slipped into my tattered shoes i sighed at my predicament once more. I went downstair and greeted the beef ball uncle with the last ounce of enthusiasm i had.
'Hey boy why look so depressed?'
'Cos i had a lots of problem.. my... my .i ...i...'
'Hey one thing you must know is tt everyone have their problems.'
'But you look so care free everyday selling beef ball noodle.'
'no i worried about my business too and my rent and my family ....'

Where Are My Balls??

Whew!!! Another day in the library sleeping... until my neck aches man. What bullshit. Actual purpose of going to the library is to study, but i end up sleeping. Think next time i shd make a pt not to stay up too late or else next day wont have the energy to do my stuffs. Anyway there is no computer in my rm... but i still end up sleeping at ard 1+. Dunno wat m i doing man. Ok.. start from todae.

Saw her wif her fren at the canteen. Hoping tat she would turn to my direction then i can wave to her. Dun ask me why i dun went up n say hello to her. In the end she did not see me n i miss the opp to see her smile. Haha stupid me.

Hmm... time for my TKD training. Legs still straining from the long jogs i had in the past few days. Better move my ass now or i will be late. Then some pple will ask why the CAI always late for training. Hey i dun wish to join the com anyway. Juz contended wif training on my own. But i guess tat sometimes things r not within my control. O ya really got to go liao.... yes i still remember my target in training.... to be the best!!

A Visit

Couldn't get to sleep. Tossing n turning.... then suddenly someone called my name. I get up n saw a man sitting on my bed. WTF.... i tot tat some joker climbed into my rm n trying to rape me.
"Dun be afraid... i come in peace." the intruder said. Hey tat statement seemed funny to me. "Im Gabriel, one of the thousands angels in Heaven. Heard tat u r encountering some problems." He dun seem like an Angel to me leh. No flashing lights... no aura... no wings... no halo on his head.... not wearing a white robe but T SHIRT N JEANS??? Cant see the brand though...
"Ya..." was all tat i can say. I nearly fall off my bed when he said he read my blog.
"U noe wat's the whole problem? It is u. All the problems r centred at u. All abt u, u and only u. Better not be so self centred though." he said.
"But if i dun think of myself who will?" i tried to defend.
"God makes so many pple on earth so tat at least one of them will care abt u. Why dun u try to think more of others so tat ur mind wont be so depress? Think of others, help others n u will be happy."
Again i wan to say wat-abt-me thing but he disappeared. Hey tot this thing only happened in the movie. But since he can disappear in front of me... i will not doubt his 'ability'. Hmm.. will try his help-others theory. Maybe i will be more happy. Yeah.... an angel visited me in the middle of the night.

The Casino

The casino was opened and three customers patronise it for the first time. Of all the games, they decided to play Big or Small. After changing equal amount of chips the 3 friends gathered around the table which surprising was empty.
Customer 1 took a very long time to decided to bet on which cos he was afraid to lose but finally he decided on Big.
Customer 2 make his decision very fast or rather rash, as he was over-whelmed by the desire to win. Small he chose.
Customer was very cautious or too cautious. He took even longer time than the first but in the end he couldnt bear the thought of parting with his money that he chose not to bet on any.
In the end the result was Big.
Customer 1 left the casino richer in money.
Customer 2 left the casino richer in experience.
Custome 3 left the casino as the way he enter it.

Have U Wonder.....

Dunno whether u guys have give a tot abt it. But i have...

Wonder why so many pple in NTU r having fun but im not?
Wonder why they seem to have time to play but im always thinking abt sch work.
Wonder why pple take minimal time to achieve results but i took ages.
Wonder why other pple can easily snap up a galfren but i cant.
Wonder why we train hard together but his standard is higher.
Wonder why i always fail my bike test.
Wonder why im still in NTU.
Wonder why im always thinking of giving up but still hang on in the end.
Wonder wonder wonder....

Think my period has come again. Ya think i noe why... cos im lazy right? Yeah shit.. maybe will do something abt it.

Jogging Can Be So Fun

Leg muscles are aching from the runs in 2 days. U noe i had signed up for the marathon... so training for it shd be no big deal. But i din not expect to run 2 times in 2 days man... but sometimes had to make some sacrifices.

Like to run in the dead of the night. Can only do tat in NTU. The whole road is mine, wif clear air and soothing temperature. Juz run like nobody's business. Enjoy the peace n quiet n i seem to be at one wif the universe.

Like to run at Macritchie Res. The sight of nature beside me gives me great motivation to run my best. Also the smell of nature lifts my spirit n makes me feel energised.

Last night jog wif a grp of TKD frens. Pace is slow but enjoyable. Can tok cock a bit. Hope tat there will be more of these opp man... yeah. Jogging can be so fun... whether jogging alone or wif a grp of frens.