I Saw...

Sunday... family day?
HDB hub overflowing with people. Many people are queuing for some goody bag. Although there is an emcee on stage gibbering away... the crowd's attention is only on the goody bag. So funny. Got a hot babe next time dude... so people like me can oogle at her.

A family came and sit beside me and my friend. The middle-aged couple got 2 cute little girls. The father go buy iced-milo and nuggets. But when he came back the youngest girl wanted fries. Then mother give older sister money to buy. When she came back the younger girl was delighted. It's strange... people knew that Mac is selling over-priced unhealthy food, but why did they still want to go and eat? For the younger people maybe they thought it's hip... ok maybe the service is good (fast food right?) For the older people they treat it as a family thing, like the couple sitting beside me this afternoon. MacDonald's has succeed in it's brand-making game. Anyway... I'm thinking of trying the new chicken at KFC. Maybe will buy some back home to let others try it out.

I like Sunday... but I hate the exams I'm going to have soon.

Shaker

I am shaking.... with anger! Waving my fist in the air! Shouting curses and vulgaraties! Kicking everything on sight!

To all the militants in Iraq and Agfanistan:
Dear respectable and adored fighters, you suck big time. If I got the chance and power, I make sure I take the trouble to stuff one pig up everyone of your ass. Yah... you may have suffered your injustice, but snatching powerless and innocent people at gun-point proves one thing- you are cowards. Kidnapped UN workers somemore... to hell for you man. Planting roadside bombs so that you can blowup your fellow countrymen.... bravo bravo! Threatened to cut off the poor fellow's head.... hey he/she is just trying to make a living. Why must you make life difficult for them? Your life difficult? But the methods you people are using are really out-of-this-world... = you will burn in hell.

I can't understand why people have to turn to these things to prove their point. Freedom fighters? Targets should stick to armed personals right? Leave others alone then. Oh and Bush should have his balls shrink when he saw that Osama tape. Good luck Bush for your elections.

The guy who kidnapped the girl has surrendered. The truth will be out.

Duh... what a world we are living in.

Night Life At The Circus

Wuahhahah! Ok.. it's Newton Circle. Anyway we are back at what we are good at: laughing at others. Think we had a good night out at the food centre picking out chio bu to oogle at, people with weird hairdo to laugh at, and costumes wearing jokers to comment on. Hey... but I think these people are brave enough to let their clothings to express themselves... still remember that Zoro and his babe? The Red Devil? The Pirate? And some don't-know-as-what-but-wear-so-little-that-we-stare-at-them babes. I say credit to them.

And Jinx... I can't help but laughing my head off when Khoo comment on your hair. Blame him for your low confidence not me ok? Too bad CS n Lampard didn't join us due to our limited resources. Yah.. nikkon said eat seafood at Johor. We will go there during hols... like Harold and Kumar go to Whitecastle!! Ah dae ah dae ah dae...

The biker chicks are cool man... hope I can know some biker chicks too.

The Kududes

KUDUDES have 7 characters in it. Just like us. CS, nikkon, fat busterd, jinx, Lampard, Khoo and me. Ok I didn't count in YZ because I thought he is a bit too 'far'. But I feel some of us are also. Group Dynamism.... that's what the tutor remarked on her debrief too. Bonding that makes people understand each other, trust each other... through effective comm. "That's one of the objective of this module", she said. Oh great. Will KUDUDES become K U D U D E S ...?

Straight To The Heart

Today is the last tutorial for Effective Comms. The tutor is doing her debrief with us. We were talking about General Electives when she remarked :" There will come a point where motivation is driving you instead of exams." Wonderboy so true. I lost the fear of exams liao. They don't scare me anymore. I'm not interested in the grades either. The courses are stifling me. The feelings are so different when I go for training last night. Where does my heart lies?

Time Wasting Tactics and Stress Busters

Don't feel like studying but afraid of slacking at one corner? Here are some of the time wasting methods:
1) Go to Can A, buy a cup of tea and sit one corner to drool at hot babes.
2) Get up from the stinking seat and patrol around NTU, checking on any suspicious people who you thought will be terrorist.
3) Look out from the cubicle you are in and count how many babes are sitting near you in a 5m radius.
4) Post an entry.

Don't want to waste time but feeling stressed up from the studying? Here are the stress relieve methods:
1) Stand up and do some jumping jacks on the spot.
2) Stand up, go to the nearest wall and slammed yourself against it. Careful with your head.
3) Stand up, close your eyes... and shout there is a bomb in the Library.
4) Stand up, choose a hot babe, go to her, close your eyes, and ask her if you are sexy.
5) Post an entry.

Maybe I will Just Wait...

Wait... yeah... you wait long long.
Life is full of missed opportunities. Maybe if you wait long enough Heaven will take pity on you and throw you a 10c coin.
You think the girl likes you... no... maybe not. What the hell... why are you guessing?
Just you and me on this island of hope, a breath between us could be miles.
If she is not there tomorrow? I grieve in my condition for I cannot find the strength to say I need you so. Why didn't I put in more effort to know her? Why I'm I so silent when I'm close to her?
Maybe I will wait.... until I fall asleep.... and I forgot to tell you I love you.

The Name Game

Golden Couple:
I saw them in my hall on Tue night. Not the first time. The girl is very sweet-looking and the guy is fine. The girl is cooking food in the kitchen. They are clearly enjoying themselves. And I want to bang my head on the wall.

Thermo Balls:
I hate this module. Fucking so many systems to take note of, and it's not open book. Got closed/open system, heat pump, refrigerator, steady flow and so-more-I-forgot, which all required different approaches. I rather kick some balls...

Arsene Whinner:
Just shout up and stop making a fool of yourself. Don't expect Man Utd to be a push-over.

Babe-Watched:
Canteen A seems to be a magnet for chio girls. Or is it because I haven't go to Canteen B or NIE canteen?

Ground Zero:
LWN Library. Whereas? Full of 3 eyed monsters and floating viruses. Not surprise that the viruses will mutate and make everybody in the library like the monsters in Resident Evil. Where is the monster-bashing babe?

No-Brain-jerks:
Those masked militants in Iraq. Oh you are so brave and righteous!

I want to go home!!!

Da-Ba Do-Ba

Eh... trouble is brewing. They JUST discovered that about 400 tons of explosive have gone missing in a facility in Iraq? Imagine how much destruction 1 ton of it can be done. Israel stated that it will not idle around while Iran is building it's nuclear facilities. Israel will carry out an pre-emptive on Iran if neccessary. What? Afgan war.. then Iraq war... then Iran war next? South Thailand is full of violence now. Hope those jokers will not infiltrate northern Malaysia and stir trouble there. Imagine all the 'hard-core' muslims go ding-dong in SEA.... what will happen to Singapore?

Wouldn't these people have to study for exams? If they don't want to sit for exams at least let those who want study in peace right? What? I want to study?!

Black Monday

Phew... think it's no surprise that today is Monday man. So many bad news... trying to flood my little life, just like the rain this afternoon. Thank God got Kaijie who gave me some panadol when I met him at Can 9... or else I think I'm lying on the bed now. Wait... think I'm going to have an early rest also. Need to recuperate leh. As I told Jinx... if there is a beautiful girl taking care of me at the moment I believe I don't mind falling sick. Yah... if there is a beautiful girl taking care of Jinx guess all his pain will be gone.

Wah lau. CS... think that is you lah. Take care man.... be strong. Nobody expected it. Yah... don't know what to say liao.

Jinx... can you stop getting into accidents? To think I jio you to take bike license. If you get into problems I will feel guilty indirectly you know. The bike seems to be giving you lots of problems than convenience. Take care also.

Monday is going to be over. Maybe Tue will be a better day?

praying for my friend..

Hi all,

First entry for me, but im writing this with a heavy heart...
I was discussing some biz stuff with my friend over the phone last night. Before we ended our conversation, he told me a bad news. A realli bad one. He said that one of our JC friends has passed away recently.
Together with his other friends, they were on their way from Pittsburgh to Shenandoah Park. He was the driver then. He muz have dozed off while driving before they met the accident. He died.
I was totally shocked after hearing the news. "My Jc friend has left us just like that." He was so lively, so enthusiastic about life last time. I could still remember the days when all of us would hang around at the concourse, playing chapteh, juggling balls and stuff. He thought me how to juggle 3, no.. 4 balls! We enjoyed one another's company then. After we had graduated from JC, we hardly meet up because of our own commitments. After that , he went overseas to further his studies. I never had a chance to see him since then..
Although he was not a very close friend to me, i was very sad. (Actually tears are rolling in my eyes now) Really sad that i have lost a friend. My girlfriend asked me if i feel like crying. I said no. Actually i was just trying to put up a strong front.
I really hope that no matter where his soul is now, he would not have to suffer pain anymore, especially not the pain which he had felt before he lost his last breath inside the car..

Wetty Patty

It's cold here. Somebody has to tell the Library that they should lower the temperature of their aircon. They can save thousands of dollars per month from their bills if they did that. My fever has still not subsided, and I'm drenched throughout while coming to NTU. Guess I'm going to collapse at any moment. Will somebody please take care of me?

The journey to NTU is the best I ever had. Now my handphone is behaving a bit funny. Making some weird noise. Realised that there are water inside the battery compartment. Hope nothing bad is going to happen to my handphone. Speaking of something bad happening... it will sure describe Jinx. Met with an accident somemore. Ever since he got that bike he always encounter lots of problems. Riding bike is never an easy stuff.

He is at a clinic getting some dressing. Hope to see him later. Speaking of medical stuffs... heard that Lasik operation is becoming cheaper and cheaper. Why? Because the hospitals bang balls when the Government told them to be more transparent in their billings. Now every hospital is slashing prices to compete with each other. Why set such a high prize in the first place? Fuck up people with fuck up personalities with fuck up morals and fuck up stinking degrees man. Burn in hell.

Shit... getting a headache now...

Winner Takes All

What can I say? I say I'm absolutely delighted by the win. Ended Arsenal's unbeaten run, kept a clean sheet, wacked 2 past Arsenal... =)

So Rooney said there is no contact between him and Campbell. OK... so let's all blame the referee bah. So Wenger accused Man Utd of dishing out rough treatment on his team. Hey so maybe he expected there are 11 sissy playing against his team of gladiators. So maybe dudes from anti-Man Utd camp claimed that Man Utd was lucky. Ok... so be it. So you said Ferdinand should have been sent off. I say enough dude... this is football. Why can I said that? Because Man Utd won. I can said what I want.

Haha... so winners can have the loudest voice. Isn't that the same in the Iraq-US war? Ok... let's not involve politics. Anyway... Man Utd is having a rough patch pirior to this game. Now I know how difficult is to support a team during this period. People will say the lousiest things... like Man Utd cannot make it... bunch of losers or worst. That's because they didn't win games but Arsenal and Chelsea did. But I didn't jump ship. That will be ridiculous. Can all the Blackburn supporters please stand up? Southamptom fans raised up your hands please? I learned my football while watching Man Utd. To be exact I grew up watching Man Utd play football. Very thrilled when Raymond smsed me about the result and celebrated with me. Speaking about passionate Man Utd fans.... Haii... what is on the mind of Howard when Carroll saved the one-on-ones with Henry and Bergkamp? He must be disgusted man. But I believe he also wants Man Utd to win. That's the dilenma of a substitute. You want the main players to play badly so that you will have a chance, but at the same time you want the team to win. I like Carroll, no offence, but I believe Howard deserves another chance.

The whole kopitiam roared into life when Rooney scored his goal....I'm starting to like the ah peks and bengs at the kopitiam...

Tea And Sympathy

I look at my cup of hot tea. A cup of Jasmine tea. This morning didn't go for training because I'm down with fever. Damn it... what a turn off.

I watch the steam from the tea rose from the surface... forming a beautiful pattern in mid-air... then slowly vanished. I'm thinking of her... but that feeling is not as fondly as before. She is.... how to say... slowly disappearing from my memory. The feeling is not as strong as before. But I'm not feeling sad... or rather, I'm feeling disappointed instead. There are other people whom I met before are slowly disappearing from my memories too. I believe relationships need to take 2 hands to clap. One is not enough. The one hand will only grasp thin air. This applies to other relationships too. I fed up being the one who initiates. What are others doing? Waiting for me to do something? I wish I can just leave them behind and go somewhere else. Where?...

I don't want to care about you anymore. I will just do my own stuffs... I will not feel sorry for you because it's not my fault. Till we meet again.

Walls Of Ears

I looked around.... but saw no one. Where was everybody? Where am I? I continued to walk. The streets were dead. I knocked on doors but they won't open. I shouted names but nobody answered. Then I reached a strange looking wall. There were hundreds of ears attached to it. Was it alive, I thought. I went to an ear and started to whisper something to it. It seemed to be moving! It had acknowledge my presence. And I started to talked to it.

Rain

It has been drizzling since I woke up from my nap. Small rain, I say.... but very persistant. Seems like the sky has plenty of water to pour... trying to cool the restless hearts of people around? I wonder.... and daydream... and watch Joan of Arc. The poor girl had to bear such huge responsibilities at a young age. Wonder how she felt at that time... like us? That will be a joke man.

So there is a new debate whether the girls in Singapore lose out to their counterparts from Malaysia and Vietnam. Hey what's new? I will stay clear of this shit as I believe I'm not credible enough to give comments. But I do want to say that everybody please wake up their fucking ideas and don't always think of themselves. That would be all. Hit the bed.... the music from class95 is opening the way for me...

Harold And Kumar Go To White Castle

What can I say about the movie...? TWO THUMBS UP!!!! I say the whole gang of us should go to Khoo's house and watch this damn stupid movie man.. better than watching Scary Movie 3. A typical stereotype, racist, dumb jokes movie... but I like it. Very much. Looking forward to it's sequel man. The two buddies did everything together. Spontaneous acts... and I like that. How many times when things happened out of a sudden... without much thoughts we immediately went to do the things we want... instead of sitting one corner and fret? Harold could have refused to go to White Castle with Kumar because of his workload, but he still went anyway. It's quite amazing how many things they have done in one night.

Actually wanted to sleep at 12 on Friday. Sleeping late does me harm than good. But went to Jinx's room and he tempted me with this movie. Damn it. I just sit there and watch. The thought of studying from 0830 to 1130... and then continue again from 1200 to 0200 is unimaginable to me. Might as well let me die. Although I confirmed that I cannot finish reading everything, this kind of studying will kill me instead. I rather repeat the modules again. There is really a limit on how much things I can absorb in a day... and it's not much. Whole week didn't train.... and I don't like it. Going to Woodlands on Sunday. A must. Must not procrastinate.

Anyway I think something wrong with my eyes. I thought I saw chio bu but when I went closer to take a look it turns up the opposite. I hope i did not offend anybody... haha.. ok these are the thoughts from me on a Sat morning. Hungry for Jap food...???

So sorry

It came as a text message

-goodbye

It was her.

He froze there for a moment, not knowing how to reply to that text message. And as though those words could mean more than he could ever comprehend, he stared at those words. Every pixel was under his scrutiny.

It started as a fairy tale and ended as a tragedy. On the day of her wedding, she was the most beautiful woman in the universe. That was her dream. And his husband had made it happened.

It would be perfect if he was the one she was marrying. But fate wouldn’t have it any other way. No other way except for him to hate her. And he was commissioned to architect her destiny.

He was sorry. Sorry for keeping a hate diary of her. Sorry for conjuring up fantasies of her downfall. His imagination made him the perpetrator. And he was sorry too, though lesser for being the clairvoyant he maybe was. Anyhow, he could not deny his role.

The smell of blood on her wedding dress lingers in his mind. He had dreamt of that before. He dreamt that he himself had shot her with a hand gun. He had aimed his shots at her head. What a pleasure it was to him, to destroy the beautiful face she was so proud of. He probably smiled when he was dreaming that. He never really wanted that though. All he wanted was to love her. But it became impossible when she chose to marry some other man. He is a moral man. It was wrong and thus it was impossible for him.

He did it for love. He did it to get what he wanted. It was not wrong to go get what he wanted. Never. After all he never wanted more than what he deserved. And now, he can finally love her for she no longer belongs to anyone. It was a mixed feeling of remorse and happiness. They never really caught the killer. They probably won’t. He willed her death. No one killed her. Only he was responsible. But no one will ever find out.

His fingers, suddenly alive in their own right, sprung into activity.

-Goodbye, darling.

He was glad he could still call her darling. A vibrating phone in his pocket rudely interrupted the calm. He felt silly. And, he still felt a bit sorry.

Crossed

No harm was intended. But their paths crossed.

It was just a normal night, no colder than any other night. He probably shouldn’t be out at all, with the work piling at his desk.

He had a long day of fruitless discussion with other people in the day but there was nothing he enjoyed more a sinful waste of time with himself. It was not long before he has to fulfill his basic need. On hindsight it seemed like a hastily made decision, if he ever made one. It seemed like a bad idea, if he ever had one. He took off from his desk with his jacket and left the room.

She, too, had a long day at work and the rain didn’t make it any easier. She was caught outside when it rained and she couldn’t get under a shelter fast enough. Not that she would seek shelter if there was one nearby. She was used to being drenched anyway.

To her, rain occurred for some reason too profound for her and she simply accepts it as part of life. She was someone who did what she had to do, rain or shine, unfazed by any difficulties.

Although she was not welcomed at some places because of her nature and sometimes because of her looks, it didn’t bother her. And she would be oblivious the rat race and dog-eat-dog madness that happened around her. All she wanted was to get on with her life at her own pace.

It is a need, but at that time, it was probably a want. It manifests itself as a form of escape from the drudgery of work. He was a carefully person, sometimes too careful for his own good, but he survived anyhow. As he walked down the stairs, the steady, regular steps he took cleared his mind. He made minimal noise. It was dark and no one could see him. It was particularly liberating, to the extent of being detached from the world, for him, to be unseen, to be unheard. Nothing could go wrong, he thought.

Her burden was heavy. Maybe she should have set off early, maybe she should have set off late. The timing was just dead wrong. She probably knew of the danger and there wasn’t anything that could make her stay there longer than necessary but fate has played a cruel way of ending things. She wasn’t able to help or save herself in anyway.

They never had a look at each other. Their path crossed; one on top of another. Her world came crushing down. The cracking sound was deafening and painful to her. At the same time, it was trivially muted to him. It was only when he knew what he has done; he could hear the silent quiver of his heart, sinking deeper into emptiness and coldness

The mess that was the snail was washed away by the merciless rain the next day. All that was remained was the shudder in the heart.

Born To Win

Haha.... I'm so excited... because I got ideas liao..

It's getting crowded here, I thought. There isn't so much of us a few days ago. I looked around and size everybody up. Yucks... this one is so nerdy looking. Err... that one so beng... hah.. this one is damn clumsy man... hey looks like there is not much threat to my position at the moment. I'm starting to feel clever and proud... my tail stand erect and firm. Stand aside, u pretenders... here I am. Is there no one else?? Suddenly he is standing in front of me. Big, strong and confident looking. Not to forget smart-looking too. Fuck man... where the hell did this guy comes from? I thought to myself. Everybody seems to be swarming to his side... ignoring my presence. He glanced at me and give me the watch-it-dude look. GRRWLL... you are going to pay for your arrogance... I fumed to myself.

Suddenly there is a massive 'earthquake'. Everywhere is chaotic... but everybody know what is going on. "To the gate! Move!!" the gate keeper shouted. I pushed my way to the front. As usual... those weaklings in front of me provide little resistance. Then I'm standing in front of the gate... with him by the side. Pay back time... ass-hole. As the gate is slowly opening... I give the smart ass a thumbs up sign and raced away. ARGH!! He proved to be a persistant brat... chasing after me and even threatening to overtake me. The rest of the pack are way behind the 2 of us in a short while. This is a battle between me and him. There is it! The precious!! With my last ounce of energy, I give my last burst of fire. But he just won't give up too. Oh no... he is catching up... then he is infront of me! This can't be true! With my last trick... I did a somersault and landed on his back. With a flick of my tail I send him crashing to the walls. Haha... WoHoo!! I won! With no more competitors... I truimphly entered the egg...

Mood For Shit

No point reading because I can't understand a word anymore.
No point reading because I am fed up with myself.
No point reading because I'm too cold to think.
No point reading because I want to stone now.

Oh Yeah....

I looked at you.... and you looked back at me. Embarrassed, I looked away. But I can help but to take a peek at you. And I saw you peeking at me too. My heart beats faster every second. What a wonderful smile you have... and your enchanting eyes... so beautiful, as if they have a life of their own. You are so perfect... how I wish I can go up to you at this moment and say hello to you... ask you how is your day. Gathering my courage, I looked at you again... and there you are, looking at me too... and we both smiled.

Oh... how I love the mirror in the toilet of Library Level 4...

Panties Wearing Gnomes

Wah... the library is getting colder by the minute. Think have to tell the in-charge that they can save a few cents by raising the temperature of the library instead of trying to make the place felt like the Antartica.

Suddenly I heard people singing.. think the lyrics like "Wah lolo... it's getting cold... wah lolo... we are cold but warm in hearts..." Then I saw tiny people emerging from my pencil case. Gnomes to be exact. Wearing nothing but a panty. I counted 10 of them. I quickly took my pencil and tried to poke the last one. "What the fuck are you doing... you ass-hole!" He said. That really pissed me off. With one crushing bang I squashed the irritating brat into a mess of shit. And the rest ran away...

Singular And Plural Forms

I am concentrating hard on the maths question. Then I'm distracted. A beautiful girl had came over and occupied the empty seat beside me. I could not help but captivated by her beauty. She noticed that I'm looking at her and she turned and gave me a smile... the sort of smile that could melt your heart. And I think I'm going to melt too. I quickly looked away and stared at my papers instead... obviously balls shrinked to half their sizes. What?? Smile at me? Am I dreaming not? From the corner of my eye I saw her taking out her stationery... files... papers... ready to start her work. I turned and peeked at her again. Wow... she got the elegance and the confident look. Plus her beauty too. Cool man. Then I cleared my throat and ask her.... "Are you single at the moment?" Don't know whether my eyes playing tricks on me not... thought that I saw her blush slightly. Wah..... then she replied she is not attached at the moment. With rapid response I ask her whether she can be my girl friend not... scared that if I delay any longer she would be taken away. Then to my joy and amazement she nod her head! WOOHOOH!!! Fantastic man! Yeah... then with a beaming smile I returned to my revision.

if I could be more reckless. I would shout into your face, call u a 'gan cheong spider' and 'control freak'.

bitch would be nice but someone is calling u that already. wahahaha

Poseur. what the hell? Who are you trying to kid, dude? You suck but i'm too polite to point that out. you fucking think u can do things faster. well, go ahead, and entertain me with ur cock-ups. hahaa..and dun blame me for not trying to help.

Can Somebody Please Be My Girl Friend?

Says Jinx.. ok... maybe he didn't said that directly. But the words are written all over his face. His agony... facial expression.... his emotions... his passion.... show it all.

Hey to all the eligible babes out there.... if you see jinx on the streets some day, please give him your charmest smile so that you can melt his heart. Talk to him lah... (even with you don't feel like it) even for a short while. That will definitely makes his day. To all the guys, if you happen to see him too, do give him a friendly pat on the shoulder. If possible introduce some eligible babes to him. Yeah.... that's the way dude!! Jinx.... you da man!!

Don't lose hope. Wuahahaha.... haii...

Chocolate Paradise

I saw the road sign.. "Chocolate Wonderland-- 1km ahead"... yeah.. I turned on the trottle and continue my journey in bike. As I got nearer to my destination.. the smell of chocolate is really fantastic... "Yeah!! Welcome to chocolate wonderland!" The children shouted as they ran out from the terrace houses to greet me. Servants carrying samples of chocolate stuffs stand by the roadside.. waiting for me to try them out. WOOHHOOO!! There are chocolate ice-cream.. chocolate chips.. iced-chocolate shake... chocolate cookies... so much for me to choose! I just stand there still deciding which one to eat first, mouth already drooling... then I woke up. And I nearly drooled in my sleep man. What the hell... if I stop thinking and start eating those chocolate maybe it will have a better ending..

Library is becoming a scary place for me... I can't daydream in the library without feeling guilty. Just now the guy behind me is losing it man. Keep cursing and banging the table. Think he met some problems wiht his revision. THEN 2 girls came out of nowhere and explain the solutions to him. What the fuck man. I'm also struggling with my maths but there is only me and me.. and probably my miserable shadow. I asked Rooney what is he doing now... he said he is busy in Geylang. I asked Ronoldo to join me in Library... he said he rather do juggling with some balls. I asked Brad Pitt if he is free for dinner... he said he has a candle-light dinner with Anniston. I asked Osama if he is free for some tea... he said he is busy plotting how to stuff bombs up Bush's ass... cool... fine with me. Then Bruce Lee came to my table and offer me a cup of water. Then he said I must be like the water in the cup.... always go with the flow... ready to adapt to the surrounding situations blah blah blah....

Luckily I have a pleasant surprise that makes my day... or it will just be another lousy day in the Library.

Who Are You?

I stared at the mirror and I thought I saw Tony Liang Chao Wei...

Wah lau.. I went for the MPE soccer trial and found out that it was yesterday.. I checked the email again and it is really on Mon instead of Tue.. but then why in the diary I wrote Tue?? Is it God's will that I miss this selection so that I can concentrate fully on TKD.. err.. just want to play some competitive soccer here leh. I will try calling the in-charge to see whether I got chance to join back training.. if not I will go somewhere else to play competitions. Joining other clubs included.

Wonder why I'm so absent-minded recently. I think.. if I can selectively forget things.. won't it be nice. I can forget about those people I don't like, or those unhappy happenings.. or my failures.. on and on.. so much things I want to forget. After that I can start afresh again. Meet new people.. try new things.. enjoy myself once more.. without the thoughts of unhappy things bothering me. That will be damn cool. But one thing I will not forget is my family. Especially my youngest sis.. she is my fav person in my life right now man. I will unconditionally protect her. If anybody trying to be funny with her will face my wrath. And I mean what I say dude..

Before I forget.. better go and do some studying... exam is.. err... 4.. no 3.. no 2 n 1/2 weeks away??

22

I stared into space and realized I'm 22 years of age.

Watched Pearl Harbour? I felt that it is a great movie. Thought Danny (by Josh Hartnett) is a poor sucker.

On a lighter note.. think love is in the air in my HDB block. This afternoon while I'm on my way to Bishan, I met her at the stairs. A young sweet-looking malay girl. From Beatty Sec. Quite shy actually.. then with a malay boy.. looks shy too. They are a bit embarrassed to see me. You see... the girl is at the 2nd floor, and the guy is at the ground floor.. and they are both looking at each other. Didn't know malays got such a soft side too (oops). Not the first time I'm seeing them together. I wish them the best yah..

J8... shocked by it's drastic change. There are changes everywhere.. why I'm not changing? But changes are good... to bring in fresh ideas and challenges.

Say... Tuesday is coming.. and I'm still stuck at Monday. ???

Your Day

Happy Birthday to you..
Happy Birthday to you..
Happy Birthday to youow..
Happy Birthday to you!!
(",)

Doggy Thoughts

A bad start to my day... and the rest of the day crumbles before my eyes... whew.. sucks. Operation code name Fish Tank had started and will estimate to last about 2 weeks. It's not that I didn't maintain my fish tank, but I'm amazed that there are algae on the glass. Cool. Both my sucker fish had KIA and algae are out in full force. No choice but to scrub the walls. My overhead filter had been downed for 3 weeks. After changing the water, I went to buy 2 algae eater fish. This type of algae eaters are cuter than the normal ones.. yeah. Ok.. next I will buy a new overhead filter. Then I will buy some shrimps and tetras.. time to save some money. I will introduce these things slowly so that the fish community won't feel so stress.. that's why it will take about 2 weeks. Hah.. a new look to my old fishy tank.

I want a dog. I want a dog. Will do some research on it. Estimated maintainence will be near $80 per month bah.. Having a dog means I need to spend more time at home bah.. and I would really love that. Maybe it will brings me more joy. I will call it lazy doggy.. wuahahaha! As for how I will have money for it's maintainence.. maybe I will do some canvassing during the hols.. wooohoo..

It's going to be 12 midnight.. and I'm starting to lose it.

Sorry Affairs

What is touted as the last soccer game before the winter break ended in a whimper. Only 8 of us turned up... fat busterd n I made up the so-called Toa Payoh gang. What a miserable bunch. For some what-ever reasons.. many chose not to turn out for this much anticipated session.. from the thoughts of the serangoon gang. Can feel their disappointment. What the hell... spoils my day.

I'm going to put in more effort in my fish tank. Going to stay at home for a longer period of time instead of being sucked around by some miserable souls.

Where Are You?

Where are you? Shout... so that I can hear you and find you. I search in vain for you. You seemed so elusive. One moment I thought I have you... then you are gone. I run so that I can find you in the shortest possible time, but I fell and wasted more time instead. Then I walk.. but soon I lose patience and ends up sulking by the road side. Please... don't hide from me anymore. I am on the verge of giving up.. throw everything down and just walked away. I don't want that to happen to me. Hope.. however thin.. is still binding me together. I am not sure how long will it last. Where are you? Tell me so that I can find you...

The Old Granny

The cold wind blew mercilessly around me. I tried to hide inside my trenchcoat.. but it was no use. I'm numb from the cold.. my heart felt cold.. very cold. I looked at my watch. 11 minutes past midnight. I scanned through the alley but there was no one. Damn it.... the dimly lighted streets looked dead. Who will be out on the street in such a damning weather? I thought to myself. I stamped hard on the ground.. trying to force some blood circulation into my feet. I hoped I am not waking up the poor residents.

I thought I saw a shadow from the corner of my eye. I turned... and saw a window with the lights still on. Somebody at the window? Just my imagination I guess. I'm shivering.. and I thought I'm going to die of cold when I saw the door open. The old door created an eerie sound when it opened... echoing through the lifeless alley. An old lady emerged and walked towards me. Her steps were small and unsteady... she was holding something in her hands. I could not make out what was it. A cup of tea!! The old granny finally reached me and passed me the warm tea. I wanted to decline it out of courtesy... but my pair of hands had already accepted it. Without a word she turned and slowly walked back to her house. Her small body frame seemed to be swaying under the howling wind. And I didn't even say a word of thanks. I stared at the cup of tea.. feeling life slowly seeping from the cup to my hands and to my heart and to my whole body.. I took a sip.. taste wonderful. I looked at the window and it's dark inside.

With a sigh I continue to stand in the street.. braving the cold wind... armed with a cup of warm tea... and wait.

What A Turnaround

Sorry jinx, didn't mean to ditch you last night.. but I decided to join them (can't say much because someone maybe reading this..). Think I won't have much opportunites like this in near future. Cannot go home with her.. now cannot join them for a run? Yeah.. reason is I will not be continuing to stay in hall during the hols. That means I'm out after 20th of Nov. Why? Because of that idiot. I message him twice and he did not reply. I hate this kind of fuckers who don't bother to reply me. Go and call him? I can't be bothered.. thanks. Anyway I don't like the feeling of being an 'illegal squater'. I kind of like Hall ~.. but guess I have to try to reapply the next time if I want to stay in halls again bah. That's all for this hall thing...

Hey Lampard.. what happened in NUS leh.. tell us more leh. Maybe you can update us during our soccer session this Sunday. Think will be the last before exam?? Don't suffer in silence bah. We have great faith in you dude.. whatever you do we will support you. Yeah!!

Speaking of soccer I'm contemplating whether to go for the soccer trial for MPE on next Tue.. hmm..... think I will watch more soccer matches this Sat and play some soccer on Sun to gera myself up bah.. Wuahahaha!!

The Cheswick Cafe on Saturday Afternoon

But enough of the humdrum that was late routine. He stepped out of his little hiding place. Having to adopt a somewhat awkward crouching position for some hours, he felt his back groan dully as he straightened it. Inevitably, as it would happen daily lately, his mind would race through the now-procedural recall of events not so lately.

It was not so many moons ago that it was himself, truly, who graced a chair in the Cheswick Cafe. Not the warm one she had vacated some moments ago, but a more unassuming teak, hard-ricked wooden chair with an unforgiving uncushioned back. It had a tiny nail hammered into it in awry fashion at the height of its back. As he sat, the nail would prick at the rear of his neck everytime he sought solace of support from the chair's back. It aided him in his battle against somnolence, and even boredom. At times, he would most deliberately poke at the nail with his naked neck for the sheer frivolity of it. He would, most embarassingly, even attempt an exercise in counting. The count would reach a somewhat high figure. He wished he could tell her, how every count meant to his desperate wait.

To cheat time he brought along other accoutrements, most significantly some of his books. However, it was nigh-impossible to get into reading them because he had to keep a lookout at the same time. Yet the act of flipping through the worn pages repeatedly grew to be somehow most comforting. He would alternate the flips with the counts at the neck. The crisp flipping, the droning counting, the reliable ticking of the grandfatherly oaked clock behind him, in menage a trois danced fatherly time away. But the routinised pacification was more funereal passacaglia than vivacious tarantella.

Little Heart

I saw the uncle (think in his 50s) who sweeps the road along Hall 1. As usual, armed with a broom and dustpan.. he is looking for rubbish to clear. Then he slipped and one feet landed in the small long kao. Here is the scenerio, try to imagine:
The distance between he and I is about 10 m only.
However there is a staircase separating the both of us.
Though he slipped, he doesn't seem to be in pain and quickly got up and carry on his business.
Actually I wanted to go forward and ask if he is alright. But the circumstances above seems to make this difficult.. aided by my maybe-he-is-alright attitude. What difference will I make if I really go and show some concern. We meet before.. and we actually smiled at each other as a sort of greeting. That time really surprised me.. as like we look at each other and I think he smiled first so I follow. Hmm.... anyway I thought that the ah-pe who is mopping the staircase outside LWN Library is quite handsome. He got the I-seen-it-all aura coming from him. Maybe one day I wil try to strike a conversation with him.. haha..

Yeah... Vanistelrooy, Ferdinand, Ronoldo, Rooney and Gary Neville are in top form. I support Ferdinand as England Captain. Any backers?

Dots In My Head

Wah kao.. tried to insert some animations in this blog but failed miserably.. can somebody please enlighten me.. if you don't mind? I tried until I see dots floating around.. guess I am staring at the screen for quite a long time. Yah.. trying to slack when I'm not supposed to. Oh well.. hmm.. let me try again..[img]http://www.websmileys.com/sm/crazy/1148.gif[/img]..

Working? Haii... hey nikkon.. maybe u can ask the cute gal how she did it. Yeah.. some opening lines for you to use lah. Then come back and teach me. Wah.. so peaceful in the library.. so peaceful until I felt sleepy..

I saw myself picking up a chang-koe and starts digging my own grave..

Wah what's that man. Anyway... let me enjoy some mugging before they chase me out again.

Acceptance

I woke up at 9 this morning feeling FINE. No pun here. I felt ok.. first time of the week. Yah.. maybe it's because I have come to terms about myself. Accept myself? Maybe you will feel better if you had accept the fact that you had lost. Or you are what you are. Please don't misinterpret the message here. I mean, let's end the chapter and continue life. Think that will be a better deal than rotting at the spot. Haha.. I will be more generous with my smile from now on.

Yeah.. happier entries soon... and it's not about how many entries that will be posted..

Brainy Beckham

David Beckham has revealed he deliberately sought a yellow card against Wales on Saturday.
Two reckless clashes with Ben Thatcher earned the England skipper his second booking of the current World Cup qualifying campaign.
However, Beckham insists he was happy to pick up a one-game ban as he already knew he would be sidelined by a rib injury suffered earlier in the Old Trafford match.
'It was deliberate,' Beckham told The Daily Telegraph. 'I am sure some people think that I have not got the brains to be that clever, but I do have the brains.'

I Have To Work A Little Harder

Have to work a little harder yeah. Gotta hit 14 avg posts p/wk. WIsh me luck. Also gotta send out the stuff to her tmr. Yeah. This will be an interesting week.

The Joy Of Losing

"The computer will automatically shut down in 15 minutes..." Great. What a way to chase me out.

Think i have to learn how to derive joy from losing. Because I think I always lose out everytime. No wonder. The pain of losing.. you go experience. I believe there is something to learn everytime I lose. But I still like to win (Winning will makes me learn AND gives me satisfaction).

Get joy out of losing.. but nobody likes to lose? Hey guess my brain is not working as well as I thought now.

Faint.

He loves me...he loves me not...

He loves me...He loves ne not...
Love starts as an insignificiant seed.
A wishful prayer,
a tiny fire,
a playful giggle,
a rosy blush,
a risky wink,
or a kindly smile.

He loves me...he loves me not...
Friendship buds.
A tender understanding,
a growing warmth,
a gentle trust.

he loves me...he loves me not...
The bud opens its first petals to a pair of .
sparkling eyes
which twinkle with a new passion.
A passion that overcomes all sense
until finally
a risky chance is
taken.

He loves me...he loves me not...
The rose opens into a beautiful,ruby blossom.
Everything else in the world becomes
lost in a crazy,wild nonsense
a happy oblivion of exhilararion
complete and total joy.
A sweet,innocent kiss
in the moonlight
seals the mutual promises
of never-ending fidelity.
Cherish.
Honor.
Protect.
Forever...or until

The blossom wilts,
and the petals fade,
and the promises break,
but the memories
of sunlight and the blue sky
remain fragrant
preserved in the petals
of sachets
stuffed in the back of your sock drawer
and your heart...

PS: There came a time when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom....

Another extraction from http://mysecret_in_silence.blogspot.com/ with a little editing to typo done

The Kiss

A kiss, when all is said,what is it? A rosy dot placed on the "i" in loving; 'tis secret told to themouth instead of to the ear
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I never though i'd find myself the day i found you. Plans for only one of me are future plans for two...
Soul mates in this universe that make the world surreal.For when i'd given up on dreams you showed me love is real.And now that all my love for you will never cease to grow, please take me in your loving arms and never let me go... ...
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A very small degree of hope is sufficient to cause the birth of love... ...
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True understanding is deeper in meaning than in mere words and is important for its result,not pretty rhetoric. Those who can verbalize their happiness have little happiness to speak of. My true love has grown so much that i can't tell even half of it in words
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We cannot tell what may happen to us in the strange medley of life.But we can decide what happens in us, how we take it,what we do with it- and that is what really counts in the end...

An extraction from http://mysecret_in_silence.blogspot.com/

Snooping Around Again

Hey dudes.. got this one from someone's blog.. courtesy of kx! Hah.. Anyway she seemed to think like me.. in a certain way lah.. or I think like her? Doesn't matter isn't it? Oki dorkie.. here is it..

"after slacking for a while by blog-surfing and basically kpoing about some of my friends' lives, realised that sometimes, our worries and sadness stems from the fact that we are unable to accept ourselves as who we are. i guess i myself is also inflicted by this problem too. the need to look better, become smarter and belong somewhere. the need of being accepted by people whom you admire. but the thing is, sometimes, the people whom you admire ain't reallie that great afterall. they have their own sets of problems and worries. what we see is not what we always get. we may have just been fixing a halo over them. it's easy to say: get to know your inner self. love yourself. gurus have been earning big bucks selling self-help books saying this over and over again. but do people listen? hell no! somehow i feel that, when kids grow older, they tend to become more and more self-centered. or maybe people are self-centered in the first place. it's all about me me me. i'm happy. yay! i'm sad. boohoo. can you all listen to me? why isn't anybody listening to me? because everybody is so hung up about themselves that they forgot to care about others anymore. no time? all the time is spent on wallowing in self-pity. sick and tired? wonder who isn't." ---kx

Cool. :D

Aren't We Fortunate?

I went to the library... and it's kind of crowded at the entrance. There were some people dressed in suits. They looked like some distinguished guests leh. There was a guy trying to exlpain to them something... but I can't catch what he is saying because I'm in a hurry. Need to chop a seat fast. Guests coming to visit our library.. I looked around and I thought that we are quite fortunate to have libraries so that people like me can hibernate in them.

I gazed down and watched the bustling scene of the bazaar. Under the hot blazing sun, people are trading their goods for some money. Children running around bare footed, playing with stones. They seem so innocent.. I thought. But they are born in the wrong place. There is no hope in the country. I sighed... just celebrated my 22nd birthday yesterday. My family is poor, but my mother still managed to cook some curry and we had some bread to go with it for dinner. One of the nicest dinner I ever had. Then I thought of her. I wanted to tell her yesterday was my birthday. I went to her place but her family said she was not around. I am sad and disappointed... because I wanted to see her for the last time. I heard that people like me are studying in a place called the University.. or are even earning big money in America. Everyday go MacDonalds for meals, have computers in their homes. But here I am struggling to find food for my next meal.. nothing to fight for.. family is suffering.. they are the cost of all these. They bombed my hometown mercilessly.. killing people indiscriminately... snatching away our freedom.. burning our land. Those big white shit are going to pay for all these. Hatred and anger are rising inside me...
"The Amalikens are her!!" someone shouted. I looked up and saw the convoy coming. I quickly picked up my RPG and scrambled to my position... heart beating like mad. I felt sorry for my family... because I can only do so much. As the first vehicle reached my shooting range, I thought of her and miss her smile.. her voice. If only I could see her last night..

I'm hungry.. what should I eat for lunch later? Hmm.. char kway tiao seems to be a good choice..

What A Strange Feeling

Who am I? Or who are we? Haha.. will the owner of the blog please stand up?? This is the uniqueness of this blog man. NOBODY should know who we are. I don't know what happened earlier on... but I hope this will not affect our entries. Still a no hold-barrier blogging place to me. Hehh.......

I spent 30 minutes trying to open up the lid of the little clock. Wants to put in a new battery. Feeling very fustrated that I can't open it because it is very tight. But I scared that if I forced it open I might create a scratch on the present. Then no chioce but to do it SLOWLY. Finally it's open... and I put in a new battery (And the little battery cost $3.. my goodness. Guess I'm taken for a caitao liao.). Then realize that maybe the 'old' battery is working. It's because I did not 'on' the clock that's why it's not moving. Haii.. anyway I stare at the little clock (with a monkey beside it) for 10 minutes or so to make sure it's working. Then I put it back to the box. Then I ask my mother to wrap it for me... haii.. what an idiot man. Can't even do a simple job. But the present is up.. the card is ready.. hope she will be happy.

I am scared. What a strange feeling.

It's A Zoo Out There

"Father... why are those people staring at us?"
"Because we are on display.. my son. Those 2 legged creatures really got nothing better to do..."
The big lion paced around the exhibit.. an air of authority oozing from him. the small lion looked to his father with pride... a role model. One day he will be like him. Commanding respect from the rest of the pack. But one thing is missing.
"Father, why aren't we back in the wild?"
The Big One looked at him with a frown. "No my son... you won't like it out there. It's filled with uncertainty and danger."
"But there is where we belong! We can go hunting... roaming around vast plains.. carefree.. isn't that great?"
The Big One shooked its head. "We have good food here. The keepers are friendly. We are popular.. what else can we ask for?"
"But I want to be free. I don't want to stuck in this enclosure. If I can survive in the wild that shows that I'm the best." The small lion whispered... scared that it will provoke more disapproval from his father.
"If.. still remember the cougar next door that had just escaped last week? Heard that it's dead. Got shot by troopers. Too weak to ran away from them after days of starvation. Poor thing..." The Big One sighed.
Small lion is sad. It wanted to get out from here.. But after hearing what his father had said.. he is not sure anymore. He sensed the crowd is getting excited as he walked closer to the fence. Is it really so dangerous out there? Can he survive if it can get out from the enclosure? What is exactly the world beyond the fence?

This One Is Dedicated To Everybody Out There

Why am I still alive? Don't tell me your answer. If your answer is a pessimistic one.. fuck off. What I want to hear is hope, dedication, moltivation, determination and responsibility. How to say one has a good life? The amount of money that he can earn? The number of girls he had fucked? The type of cars he is driving? The level of degree he had obtained? The level of popularity he has? Or the amount of respect he commands from others?

I thought there is no standard answer. I don't have a proud record to boast of. No IVP medals to show... no good results to yak.. no chio girls to hug.. no big money to throw around. Hey.. notice that all are materialistic gains? Ok ok.. then why am I still around. Why don't I just find the tallest building in Singapore and jumps down? If you had just said 'yeah' then fuck you. I repeat... FUCK YOU. Don't let me see you. I will just let you eat my slamming kick.

Moltivation... what drives me? Preseverance... how long must I wait? Determination... how hard should I try? Love... how much can I give? I believe I'm here for a reason. Nevermind if I'm a nobody. I will still do what I should do. I will not give up. And I hope you won't too. Don't bother you say? I think I can don't bother to talk to you. I need a supportive environment. I need people to trust.. I need people to fall back on... I need a place where I belong. I will continue to find the answer... nevermind if I only got 3 hours to live.. haha.. To all who had showed me care and concern.. whether it's the people around me, or the tree that is providing me shade while I'm walking to school, or the cat in my hall that is entertaining me while I'm bored, or others.. thank you very much.

I will go to Linkin Park for some fresh air now.

Why?

Thinking of someone can be quite painful......

The Cheswick Cafe on Saturday Afternoon

Again, he knew she had come. Neatly dressed in one of her many pink dresses, hair curled immaculately underneath her bonny hat- it was an effort she made lately daily. She would sit on the same cushioned chair and wait patiently. Her expression would shift from hopeful to eventually forlorn, the degrees of change pronounced with her every reluctant study of the time. He knew that she knew it was a cycle of desperation, and he wondered how long it would take before her patience would snap. He crouched behind the door where he knew that he would not be seen.
There was a decisive thud as her crossed foot crashed onto the ground in a bitter mix of frustration and letdown. The appointed time had arrived, again. An arrival lately routine. On her feet, she gathered her coat and bag and prepared to leave. She shuffled her way out dejectedly, head bowed without a care for the swirling crowd that was around her.
His eyes fixed on her dissipating back, he watched her leave the cafe before he would emerge. Another day was over, but anonymous, drowned by the flood that was late routine. It was cruel intended routine, and it was sapping him.

Did Someone Said I'm Indecisive?

I'm not sure whether this guy is persuasive or I am fickle-minded. He just managed to talked me out to drop my idea of 'retirement'... indecisive? Procrastinator? Wah... I don't know. And I really don't know is that a wise decision not. Maybe I will give it a one-last-struggle.

Thinking of upping my momentum for training. Wants to go into the exams with a good feeling... that is I know that I won't have a hard time playing catchup when the exams are over. But then I injured my left knee.. shit....

Hah.. do I have a habit of sneaking up to other people's blog? Yeah i think so... but I'm not stalking them.. mind you. Just plain curiousity.

This afternoon as I riding hm.. along a part of PIE in the middlelane, I suddenly realise that all those big trucks are keeping to the left most lane. Had a hard time trying to cut them at 100km/h... (yah speeding is not right). Then I saw them. TP hiding between the trucks and lorries. When into damage control mode by stepping on brakes (wat else? But not e-brake lah.. relak). Then there is this police car tail-gating me.. woohoo!! Siam one side to let him pass as I riding 'only' at 80km/h. Then I realise my riding skills are not there yet (my anticipation and bike control and decision making).. these things take time I guess.

Don't stay.

movies to look out for

1) Wimbledon, 07 Oct
Reason: Can ogle at Kirsten Dunst.

2) 2046, 14 Oct
Reason: Supposed to be an artistic show. Now we know how much we love arty-farty pretentious movies that don't seem to make any sense at first glance.

It's A Wild Wild World

It's dark when I opened my eyes. The whole enclosure is very cramped and stuffy. I tried to break free from this 'prison'. The more I struggled, the more tired I become. I am weak I thought.

At last! I saw light coming from the hole that I had created. I continued to clawed at the hole.. hoping that the whole wall will collapse and I will be free. As I hauled myself out, I saw others doing the same thing. They also wanted to be free. Yeah.. lets fight for freedom together I thought. But then they don't seem to think this way. They only want to be free themselves. They stepped on me... pushing me down the hole so that they can get out first. I tried to reason with them.. but they ignored me and carrying on doing their own stuffs. 'Me first me first' seemed to echo throughout the area.

Then we are out of the hole. Woah!! Fresh air! Are we free now? I tried to strike a conversation with the one beside me. He don't seemed interested in talking. He just said 'halo' and continue his way. I tried again. 'Sorry I got more important things to do...' is the reply of next. Hey I just want to ask you how is your day!! I crawled slowly.. wondering why the others are in such a hurry. The sound of sea is soothing, but there is a sense of hidden danger somewhere.

"Argghh!!!"... I turned and saw one of them got grabbed by a seagull. Then the whole pack panicked. Faster faster they seemed to say. After a tiring distance we reached the waters... ok... now am I really free? Maybe.. I wanted to find someone and talk, but all of them just swim deeper and deeper into the water. Ahh.. there is one of them near the corals... swimming slowly. Maybe we can talk.

There is a shark lurking nearby.. trying to prey on unsuspecting turtles..

Mood: Blue

What a long day. Luckily the Lab is quite easy to do. Drop by Library to slack. Recently no inspiration leh. Thinking of writing some out-of-the-world fantasy but no idea how to start. Maybe Reality had hit me hard this time. Reality 1, Darren 0.

Side track a little, who you hope to win the election of United States? Don't care? Or you ask who are running for the elections?

They are having ASEAN selection soon. And I'm still in a state of shit.

During Lab there is this HOT babe sitting at the next table. Those malay dudes from my group are ogling at her man. I took a peek.. yeah chio man.. but one thing confirm... this gal not easy to handle. If Teck will to comment.. he will say she is a slut.. haha!! So let me ask.. do you guys want to choose a simple girl or one HOT babe? Or do we have a choice? Wuahahah!! Aiyo.. no offence lah. Sometimes I thought it's funny when I think this way. Hey everybody have to buck up.. really. Stop dreaming you are some sort of cool dudes.. hehehe...........

Hey, tomorrow is Friday isn't it?

Muggers Unite!!... Mugging Mode On!

Hah.. this is the time of the year that all of us are waiting for... so to arms!! Ready your stuffs... and off we go to set up our base camp at LWN. Yeah... now I'm bubbling with excitment man!! WOOHHHOOO!!

If anyone of you happen to see me daydreaming in the library.. please give me a slap as I deserve it... thanks.

Past And Present

I went to training as usual. But this time I don't have the usual feeling. Is it because exams are coming.. that causes this feeling? The atmosphere at the club can be describe with in a word... 'sian'. Not much people came down for training. The juniors are in their own world. The PRC students are not as vocal as ever. The morale of the club seems low. Suddenly I thought I have nobody to talk to in the club. Is it because the CAI has failed in his job? Failed to rejuvenate the club's spirit? Failed to strike a chord with the members? I looked around in dismay. Actually I don't feel like going for the Dynamics lecture. But I changed my mind.

Whenever I put on my helmet.. I got this feeling of elevation. I felt thrilled. If my bike does not runs on petrol but oxygen instead... I will definitely ride to Kranji and relak there. Sucks.. things won't be the same forever.. so I have to shut up and accept. God gives me strength please. Hohoho... :p

Sometimes Dreams Are.... Just Dreams

After lunch I went back to library and slack in front of the computer. Think it's the after-lunch-thing.. felt drowsy and decided to take a nap.

I have just won the gold medal in the 2008 TKD Olympics!! Lee Hsien Long even personally phoned me to congratulate me. When I arrived at the Changi Airport.. she is there.. among my families and friends, to welcome me. Her smile is more precious than the gold medal that I have won. While on my way out of the airport, I grabbed the newspaper and the headlines read "World Peace at last!!". Cool. Then I receive the results of my exams. I am thrilled man! Not because I got As.. but because I pass all my subjects. Even coolzz.. Then I hopped onto my Super 4 with her and go back to my cafe at East Coast. Yep.. my cafe. And I am closed for the night. I will have candle light dinner with her together. Triple coolzzz.

Then I woke up.

Happiness Accessible

In continuation from One Moment, Please...

She was thrilled.
The advice was working.
All her life she had spent searching for happiness. Clubbing, dating, shopping, pigging out. Every plausible avenue she had probed most diligently in search of happiness elusive. Met with no yield.
Until now! she screamed mentally.
By simply breathing in, and breathing out, she was practically generating happiness.
She had no idea how accessible it had been all along. The more she went in search of it, the more it eluded her.
Just a caveat. She could.. no, should not, grow attached to this happiness. It was definitely not an end, not even a means. It was the side product of a long journey she was finally able to embark upon. Settling on the mere happiness and clinging onto it would be extremely tempting, but she knew there was more to aspire to now.
Aye, a long journey it will be, probably, as well one by no means easy, but at least, she could tell herself that 'life' had truly begun...

One Moment, Please

He stopped. He had thought of something clever to say.
He said it aloud, to himself.

"Pray pardon my cunning punning."

He chuckled and went back to work.

It's Not Friday Yet?

Yah.. because today is Monday. Shit.. so there is like 4 more days to Friday. Kinematics assignments due next Mon (and I'm stucked), SOM quiz next Sat (I haven't started on it yet..), exams... duh let's not talk about it. O yah.. still got grading this Sun.. and Im going to be one of the in-charge because I am the CAI. Fuck. The snow-balling effect is going to reach its peak soon.. and I will be crushed under the weight of expectations. Luckily there is sort of soccer com at NUS this Sun.. hope can get something out of it. Then I will rush down to TPY stadium...

Roller-coaster weekend. Left me dizzy.. benchmark got gf? Wow that's cool man. Speaking of TKD stuffs.. I am determined to get out of the shit hole.. but he (and nikkon) is stopping me. I know he meant well, but I don't want to screw up more things.. so let me have my way? Lessons learnt.. next time will do my best not to repeat again.

On a lighter side.. while walking home after supper with fat busterd last night, as I climbed the stairs I suddenly saw a cockroach and I tried to avoid stepping on it. I missed one step and I nearly roll down the stairs... damn I hate cockroaches. Ok dokie.... back to work.

Freely You Have Receive, And Freely You Will Give

Decided to go to church instead of my regular soccer session. Want a little change to break the routine. Hmm.. the same lecture-bad-habit took over me. Only listen to the pastor's sermon in bits and pieces. O I remember.. today's topic is about 'Discipleship'. Felt that it's totally irrelevant to me. That's the reason why I don't go to church that regularly. The I-am-holy feeling does not appeal to me. I mean.. I go out and find a disciple.. or 'trainee' and nuture him?? Hey I need someone to guide me instead.

That's links me to another point. Who is my role model in life? We need role models. Lee XiaoLong? Paul Scholes? Valentino Rossi? Brad Pitt? Anybody 'closer' to me? Sim Wong Hu? Kenny Yap? Anybody that I know??? My father? Phew.. can't really make up my mind. It will be wonderful if I have a personal 'teacher'. That's why I'm all for apprentinceship. The education system I'm 'enjoying' at the moment bores me totally. Anyway.. back to the church, I saw some old faces. Uncle Andrew still remembers me.. so Kenny is the worship leader.. Sharon looks enchanting as ever while playing the piano.. but Pastor Simon is no longer around. Fuck.. kena the bird flu. Old theory of good people dies young. Left behind his wife and 2 daughters. Haii.. that's life.

I just want to help.

What Happened?

Fall asleep unintentionally... then woke up at 1700. Supposed to go Kelantan Lane to buy helmet. Pissed off with myself on my inability to do a simple thing. Gave my mother the 'silent treatment' before I went out. Feel bad about it afterwards. It's my own fault and I'm venting my fustration at other people. As I stepped out of my house I don't know whether it's a wise decision as the bike shop may be closed already. But part of me inside said just move your ass and try your luck.

Yeah... it's still open... and very crowded too. Got a OGK full faced at $230. Did not bother to bargain. Then I went to Bugis. Long time did not go there liao. Shocked at the changes. The 'macho' shops like The Action City or the shop that sell chio automobiles figurines are gone. Replacing them are the 'sissy' shops that sell soft toys.. duhh.. And for your information I think Marina Square is no longer there. But one thing for sure is that there are lots of chio bu. Believe me I tried to count but I gave up halfway as there are too many!

And what the hell.. Wes Brown is up for sale. Hey my favourite defender from my favourite team!!! Why he don't want to sign the contract? What happen? Why is he not happy?

Misfiring Shit

This morning while walking along the Nanyang Terraces to my tutorial class, there is this crow 'kao beiing' on a tree. When I walked past the tree... suddenly there is this shit dropped beside me. Haha.. think that boo-boo bird missed. Wuahaha! Thought it's funny that I have to write it down. Guess what? I picked a stone and tried to gunned down that stupid bird but it got away. Too bad.. Then I continue my journey to my tutorial class.....