Long time ago, before the word ‘animal’ was even invented, there lived a boy (or a girl, if you like). Well, this person is the only person on the planet and he owns all the animals in the planet. There aren’t many animals in the planet actually, just some porcupines, some pigeons, some rats and a cat.
Then, the boy (or girl) had to leave the planet for a while. Not wanting to miss out on the things that happened, he made the cat the official historian of the planet. The cat was to find out everything that happened and then write it down in a journal. The cat was an obvious choice because it is curious and has a good memory. Needless to say, it has 9 lives, so it is the animal most likely to still be living when the boy (or girl) comes back.
And the boy (or girl) left. The cat decided that it has to travel around to find out what’s happening because it did not have CNN. So it went to visit the porcupine. The porcupine is a fine, responsible creature. His job on the planet is to look after the “Tree of Love”. And that’s the only tree on the planet. There isn’t any “Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil” or “Tree of Life” or any other trees. Well, not yet.
The cat traveled for 2 days and finally reached the “Tree of Love”. He went up to the porcupine and asked him how he was doing.
“BAD! There’s a caterpillar on the tree and I can’t get it away. Will you help me?” The porcupine cried.
Not saying another word, the cat jumped onto the tree, crept carefully to the caterpillar and ate it up. The caterpillar didn’t belong to the boy (or girl) and no one knew where it came from.
“Problem solved. Nice tree you have here” the cat said, after it jumped back down next to the porcupine.
“Thank you so much. How am I going to repay you?” said the porcupine.
“What are those that are growing on the tree? Maybe you can give me one of what have on the tree?” the cat said, almost salivating.
“Oh, those are oranges!!! They are sometimes sweet, sometimes bitter, and sometimes sour, that’s why it’s called the “Tree of Love,” the porcupine explained. “Hey, if you like it, I can send a lifetime supply of it. I will bring it to you personally. It’s meant to be shared with the world.”
“You are too kind. Here’s my address. Thank you.” the cat said and then promptly wrote down what the porcupine said in his journal.
And after that, the cat and the porcupine chatted happily until the sun sets. When the cat finally left for home, he thought he had made a good friend and was smiling to itself all the way.
Days and months passed and the cat died a couple of times. Sometimes, it choked on its fur and in another instance; it fell into a river and drowned. But the oranges never came. The cat refused to believe that the porcupine has forgotten such an important promise to a friend but already into its 6th life now, he decided to send him a reminder.
He wrote: “Hey, you promised me oranges!!” and asked its faithful servant, the rat to deliver the letter to the porcupine. The postmen of the planet, the pigeons, were on strike then. The rat scurried towards to “Tree of Love” immediately.
When the forgetful porcupine saw the message, he thought to himself: “Did I promise it that?”
“Nay, never mind, I shall just give him two oranges, after all, there are plenty here.” And he passed to oranges to the rat.
But the rat was a greedy creature. Having heard from the cat how wonderful oranges are, he couldn’t control itself and ate up the two oranges.
When it returned, the greedy but honest rat told the cat the whole truth.
The cat shook its head sadly said to itself, “You stupid prick, my dear friend porcupine. It’s not the oranges I want to see. I want to see you.”
“Hey, by the way, the oranges don’t taste that great after all.” the honest rat added.
“Maybe the uneaten oranges are the ones that are sweetest. Maybe, they are only as sweet as what you believe they are to be.” the wise cat replied.
“Then why the hell do people believe that they are sweet?” the honest rat, becoming curious now.
“Because we only believe what we want to believe. And you know what I believe now?” the cat said, staring blankly into space.
“What?”
“Curiosity kills the rat”
And with that said, the cat gobbled up the rat.
“Students taking BS101, stop writing now”
The cat was suddenly jolted into consciousness.
“Shit.” The cat said to itself, “I haven’t written a damn thing”.
It has fallen asleep during the exam. Futilely, it tried to scribble something on the paper now.
The boy (or girl) walked to its desk and said, “Hello Kitty, time’s up. Put down your pen. Hahahahaahaaa”
The cat put its pen down. It was hard enough to it to pick up a pen with its paws and now this kid was laughing at it.
The cat thought to itself, “I wish I had fingers but now, I glad I have my paws so that I can scratch him (or her).” But it didn’t take it more than a second to regret thinking that way.
The boy (or girl) can read minds!!
He (or she) turned around and said, “If you dare scratch me, I will give your tail a good twist.”
The cat gave a glare and shrieked, “Meow!!!” and ran out of the exam hall.
